I used to smile
At the sight of my vomit
Sitting in the toilet,
As I knelt shaking
On my knees.
I used to hoard my food
And starve for days.
My face was raw,
My eyes were glazed.
I used to scream
At my reflection.
I used to measure,
I used to weigh,
This was how I determined
Good days.
I kept a log
Of shrinking numbers.
I used to take pills,
Hidden deep within my closet.
I used to exercise
Until I collapsed.
I used to jog in place
When I was supposed to be sleeping.
My throat used to burn,
My hair used to thin,
I used to have secrets,
I lost all my friends.
And I didn't even notice.
I didn't even care.
