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Wheat Whispers

Wheat Whispers
By: Star of Atlantis

spinning upward globe of gold
wheat whispers night's secrets
... fall away

Author notes

just a note, icase this doesnt apear to be hyku form... it is. a true japaniese hyku is 17 sylables or less that freeze a single moment and is only 3 lines long. so this fits this format since its 15 sylables. it discribes the moment in the photo and it is 3 lines long. hope you enjoy it.

A contest entry

please be very detailed in your coments and give me plenty to learn about how you view my piece. thank you.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Swan song gold member
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    nicely done i like the nights secrets line thank you for sharing


    • Star of Atlantis
      November 2
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for taking the time to come and make a coment here on my hyku i apperciate that you liked it.


  • AlexandraHamilton
    October 13
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done. This is now, officially, one of my favorite haikus of all time

    Best of luck in the contest!


    • Star of Atlantis
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      wow what a compliment. especially since i dont think this is my best nor easiest form. i am so glad you stopped by to read it and thank you for the complement