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Culture Shock



15:47 13 October 2009 Tuesday
Mood: Eerie, out of body
Place: Dining Room

Legs would circle, bike under torso pedaling towards the future
Younger than young, he had dynamic force and healthy will
His now obsolete time-travel machine gave him independence
Despite of snow fall, ambulance cries, little hands,
His manhood was assured day by day when he braved his town
Freedom found through streets and far-off locations of wonder
Educated boy because he knew innocence and grew up wholesome
Star-eyed, unstarved heart, completely untouched by toxic noise
...
Generations have risen, ways have died, people have changed,
War has stained our Earth...
We are child gone in culture shock.

16:06

Author notes

97 words.

I tried thnking what life was like for children in those awesome, peaceful times. How freedom, in some ways, was like breathing. Children could be children... Now by 18, you are a lost, scared child with little to go on. Completely stuck in culture shock.
Thanks for the opportunity.

Kristy

A contest entry

Any Merit? Any Constructive Criticism? Any Thought? Meaningful comments please.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Andre ben-YEHU
    October 14

    Edit | Reply

    Exquisitely Extraordinary...


    This author... this author that holds a quill that flies through platinum skies... that dips her pen in an jar filled with ink mixed with scent of wisdom, and depicts life in a picture with the colors of the rainbow of creativity, is a permanent guest of the Nine MUSES.

    I have enjoyed the reading of this "Culture Shock"; and have learned from its profound lines.

    In gratitude and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


    • MoonHelixEpiphany
      October 14
      Edit | Reply

      Wow!

      Andre,

      Thank... What can I say? Really... I owe you so much, you make me smile, tear, I never have felt worth this way. Thank you, with all heart for this comment brimming in kindness

      With gratitude and extended hands to hug or shake hands,
      Kristy


  • emma...
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    wow, very creative take on the prompt! i love this, great write. :]


    • MoonHelixEpiphany
      October 13

      Edit | Reply
      Yeah yeah you say that cause i gave you soup Hope you are feeling better and thank you... I do hope it means something to you

      Take care Em,
      Kristy