I’ll never forget
how he ran to the window
with no umbrella,
attempting to catch some innocence,
as I watched freshness explode
in droplets of vertical speed dating around him
while slicing limes for inside glass bottles.
A glance, a grin…
things new and exciting
in a world of falling for lines that cause eyes to tear.
But I didn’t let him in at first.
He walked through the yielding grass
with fingers stretching to reach mine,
and my bare feet attracting recently trimmed edges between each toe.
As fog danced to percussion’s slow beat,
and night took a deep breath
exhaling its tilted halo around the street lamp to adorn the mood,
I turned my face to meet his.
It could have been how gazebo lights
made my green eyes twinkle,
but it didn’t matter~
he kissed me hard
no matter the cause,
with the effect
of me letting him in.
His soft sprinkle
became torrents in fresh sheets,
while steam rose from heated earth
and we danced in the shower
to the beat of hearts taking shelter.
The condensation on my lips
evaporated when sun rose
and heat waves said ciao in dual meaning.
That rain...
that glorious rain
is something I will never forget~
nor will he.
Author notes
green rain
In a list
A contest entry
- Green Rain by tara wilson.
3500 points, ended October 19, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Romantic..very dreamy like..
beautiful.
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Amazing, yet again.
You are such a descriptive writer - you give vivid images that stick with the reader. I can't get the grass, limes, and rain out of my head. It's beautiful. Mesmerizing even.
I love how your vibrant personality shines through your writes. It makes me feel giddy and love-drunk... like I'm 18 again!
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Now this is what I was talking about - you have matured in your poetry, and it feels full and beautiful and it feels like a woman's heart, your heart. I just love this
L
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I love this very vivid and steamy story. There is some very appealing word gymnastics herein that kept this reader in high interest throughout. Oh, and did I mention this is really good?
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Every time i read this poem, the 'feel' of it reminds me of an old romantic movie...even though it's modern/contemporary. i love the title, and the moments within this poem... sometimes people really know how to find another way into us, to capture our hearts, if one way isn't working... a different approach. this poems reminds me a little of an aubade.
"The condensation on my lips
evaporated when sun rose
and heat waves said ciao in dual meaning." especially from these lines here.
i enjoyed this one Grace, thanks so much for entering.
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The rain has been captivating me for a while recently. Maybe we were on the same wave lengths even though we haven't been in touch?? I think there's a really good chance of that
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man. i just melted in my seat.
you always put a smirk, if not a full blown smile on my face when i read your writes.
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and you just made smile... and even though i smile easily on a normal day, when im sick like this it takes a lot more to do that. you just did. thank you
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well. today i am having a good day, happy to sort of turn yours around
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this is stunning, really.
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thank you
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Wow. I am stunned..
the intense beauty and depth
you've created here bring the
reader to a place of pure romance
& passion blended with the
sensuality of nature.
I just adored these lines too
"The condensation on my lips
evaporated when sun rose
and heat waves said ciao in dual meaning."
--love how you spice it up here
with some italian
Gorgeously crafted piece hun
& best wishes in the contest
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melting here in australia with this awesome pen geez its beauitiful romantic and saucey brillaint work dear Sweets
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Look not to me for things of complexity, your poetry just flows as would the rain drops from the clouds above, you see metaphors, imagery and all that is fine and dandy but if one cannot put emotions and a bit of one's soul into a piece of poetry they serve little purpose.
I for one see a wonderful and fun poem to read with some excellent passages between freshly trimmed edges and glances turning to meet and simply see time frozen in each others eyes.
What can I say, you have a very nice way of letting your poetry flow and speak for itself.
Where did you get the idea about writers block?
No fnnnnn way.
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you are so sweet. lol. this head cold/flu is driving me crazy. i feel like i can't think and i am tired but when i go to sleep i am only coughing to stay awake. i usually like to go through my poem to weed out unwanteds and stuff. and because of that, your comment was encouraging. thank you so much.
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There are parts of this that are just sublime! You weave your words and images in such a wonderful fashion that the reader typically has to stop and re-read to fully ingest what they just read.
'As fog danced to percussion’s slow beat,
and night took a deep breath
exhaling its tilted halo around the street lamp to adorn the mood,'
That's just beautiful and profoundly romantic.
'His soft sprinkle
became torrents in fresh sheets,
while steam rose from heated earth
and we danced in the shower
to the beat of hearts taking shelter.'
That's my favorite stanza -- just amazing. We can picture it all and feel the rain increase in strength and share in the joy of the moment. Really, amazing writing.
I don't see writer's block in here
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it seems that imagery and metaphor are things i lean on too much, so it makes me glad to receive a comment like this one. thank you. i start with a straightforward write and then it's like something takes over. lol. thank you.
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'lean on too much' -- if you do metaphors and images poorly and just randomly, I could understand your comment, but otherwise, I think you use them well... at least, it works for me.
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you're amazing in every possible way, grace.
i love this.
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thanks, angela
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Your imagery is so so beautiful. I love how you take real life and turn it into amazingly calculated words. You inspire me to keep writing for real
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<
thank you
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Beautiful poem..typical you..wonderful imagery and metaphores.As usual, I had to read it twice..to search for your intent.I am not hurt by the fact that you did not use Sam Adams as the star for this poem..Lol..Best beer in the world..Made in Bean Town..my own..Great write..I loved it, as usual..smile..
John
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lol.. you guys and your beer. jeesh. lol.
thanks so much, john. i haven't tried sam adams. so another on my list to give a go.
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you'd love bud light lime...lol doesn't even taste like beer..it's like drinking pop
if you want a real beer try molson canadian. -
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i'll need to find me one. thanks!
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"things new and exciting" You really have captured the essence of that so well in this. As always your use of metaphor is stunning and carries multiple meanings but I can feel the excitement in this... even if it is still being measured a little.
This poem feels like....... opening the doors and windows for the first time after a long winter and letting the sun and fresh air stream in and revitalise. I can feel the sense of the new, fresh, hope, a clean slate....... there is an inner smile shining in this one Ms Arrival.
I'm with Matt on the beer front though.... Corona is lizard spit!
But your poem is pure Moet.
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ok... give me the beer name that is the best to you and if i can find it, i'll try it. maybe even have to take a few trips to the native lands of these beers. as long as it's very cold i'm good... once it's warm, yuk.
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If you like Corona... I don't think you would like my favourite beer, I like Holsten or Oranjeboom. See if you can find some Lowenbrau though. It is one of my favourites and it is a clean, crisp, light tasting one (more like Corona). I only really drink European beers now.... they are the best... but they are expensive too Oh well you only live once hey.
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if it's smooth and cold, i'll probably like it. too bitter... nah. i've had lowenbrau... just can't remember it. lol. guess that means i need to try it again. cheers!
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Hot Dawm Girl. Sigh Big Sigh,~~
He walked through the yielding grass
with fingers stretching to reach mine,
and my bare feet attracting recently trimmed edges between each toe.~~ That is about as good as it gets,
untill you read this.
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It could have been how gazebo lights
made my green eyes twinkle,
but it didn’t matter~
he kissed me hard
no matter the cause,
with the effect
of me letting him in.~~
Amazing imagery that blowes the mind.
A thousand stars.
Joe
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lol. thank you, joe
and that's alot of stars
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