Daddy left so suddenly
I couldn't say goodbye, he was gone.
Passing through that final shadow's gate
way too soon for this wayward child.
I was a bad girl, nothing to brag about.
Still trying to figure out how I got stuck
with my crazy mom, so unprotected
from her nuclear mothering.
He made his own escape, always
coming to get me every court
appointed visit he could have.
When he dropped me off,
I'd beg him to hide me in his trunk,
"Take me with you PLEASE Daddy..."
but he couldn't, she wouldn't let him.
I was the gun that mother
shot my father with and I stayed
pointed in her bloody hand.
He was a great dad, visiting me
whenever allowed; but maybe
I was punishing him, punishing them both
for creating the nightmare I nurtured on,
I was pitifully self destructive..
I ran away, no I stumbled around for 10 years,
never calling either one. I was anonymous,
not present in either their life or mine.
Then I got the phone call, he was dead:
I'd run out of time to show how much
I really loved him and that I wouldn't
be a fuck up forever...
I thought I'd be able to do that.
I silently screamed no,
suddenly the car filled with screeching
sirens of tears, It scared me I couldn't stop.
The only safe place I ever knew
was Dad; now I thought, he won't
ever see that I might make him proud,
that I could learn enough,
take after him enough and
finally redeem my own soul.
One black night I had a dream,
he came looking so very young and strong
just as wonderful as I remembered him.
Running from the house I cried,
But Daddy, I thought you died!
No Sister I'm OK, he said.
Throwing my arms around him tight,
I hugged him to my wounded heart.
He was the wonderful man I adored
and maybe it wasn't too late,
maybe I could show him something better;
that I could be a very good daughter.
It may sound silly, but then I washed his car
and when I woke up, I changed my life.
Author notes
A contest entry for: Ghosts or Spirits of Loved Ones by Poetess12
Prompt: Write about good spirits, Angels or Ghosts of loved ones that passed away, from belief or real experience.
Photo Credit: One of mine, my beautiful granddaughter
A contest entry
- Ghosts or Spirits of Loved Ones by Poetess12.
1200 points, ended October 18, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whatever you feel is right
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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By the way - your granddaughter is gorgeous. How beautiful she looks in this photo. You have captured her beauty so very very well. Just wanted to note that separately from the comment on your poem.
You are quite gifted, artistically in word and image. 
It is wonderful how you delight us with your talent. Thank you. ~Pamela 
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I was the gun that mother
shot my father with and I stayed
pointed in her bloody hand.
How often this sad sad occurrence happens. Parents too selfish to work in the best interest of the child, regardless of their differences. It is tough to do, but a must to refrain from hurting the child.
I felt so sad reading this poem, understanding it all too well from several standpoints - Well done beauty - I am so pleased to have read this today. ~Pamela 
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This is a very touching poem, I was almost brought to tears while reading it. It's sweet that you saw him in a dream, or vision. its special. One of my sisters had an experience like that.
Your poem is well written.
Thank you very much for your entry.
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Potent and poignant
"I was the gun that my mother
shot my father with and I stayed
pointed in her bloody hand."
How you must have felt to be that little girl.
The end is a wonderful turn-around, though.
Great poem. I love this kind of writing.
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This is so sad and so well penned. I found it captivating and very emotional.
Love,
Amera♥
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i love this
Grrrrrrrreat -
This is just a wonderful story, full-bodied, love and sadness, tragedy and redemption. The line flow is beautiful, and the images are striking. I found this to be a great read! Lita
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Sky, this is so heart-felt my heart is overflowing with feeling inspired by your words. I think your father came to say hello, to hug you, he wanted to ease your wounded heart by telling you he is okay. I am sure he loves this response, and we are so lucky that you decided to share it with us... wonderful poem...thank you!
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