everytime you see the russet of skin and the golden landscape of innocence flooding with the dew drops of something unsettling-- you see a flash of your body, your landscape and noisy days chasing the music with tiny feet and trying to cry down the storm before collecting treats from underneath mango trees. you had some sort of shed to protect your head-- some sort of resentment toward the glaring eyes of the shed, how would you face ma when you'd tell her? it did feel like death, but you were too little for conclusions.
everytime i see two tiny eyes looking away, i feel the flesh clotting in my cheeks... like the watermelon faced diety who runs out of sight and prepares for a reality.
Author notes
edited: 2 times.
A contest entry
- run. by sideways hourglass.
575 points, ended October 25, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I was wondering in the beginning just where you were headed with this, as the imagery was so vivid yet seemed not to have a point to drive home but towards the middle it became so obvious and how often we have been the scared child, no matter the age we are. Nice piece of prose here
C
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it seemed a bit heavy with the imagery in the beginning, but overall this sends a strong message that can be related to, even though it seems to have a personal edge to it. i could be wrong, but whatever, i like this, and you should def. keep it.
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your poems are always interesting to read, this one brings back memories of being so scared to tell my parents something bad i've done...lol... you captured this moment well in this poem. that's just where i went with this...
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thank you for reading... i don't know whether i should keep this.
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