It's over now I'm leaving
and then she turned to go
our time together haunts me
like a name I used to know.
When darkness falls in silence
I see in dreams at night
reflections of the feelings shared
fading with the light.
Nursing my emotions
in the quiet of my room
I hold no fear of lonesome
nor sorrow in the gloom.
My hand around a bottle
while the hours slowly pass
finding little pleasure
at the bottom of a glass.
But yet in time with love reborn
my heartaches left behind
the last thing that I need
is her still on my mind.
A contest entry
- Poets, whores and sluts by Angelo di Luce.
430 points, ended November 22, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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never look back catch the next bus
Nice write -
mmmm.....this is startling in its emotional impact.....true grit........ooozing pain
bravo
T
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God. the interpretation is scaring the hell out of me. You're sharp and exacting in your imagery.
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Bittersweet and melacholy...this will touch the hearts of all who read it. I am loving all the aspects of your talent...
Ani -
This is beautiful but really so sad in a way. I love the rhythm of the write and how the flow kept me right there to the very end. It really is sorrowful when the memories keep you pinned to the spot, but alas, life goes on and new love comes along. I think you though had the best of the deal with your dog as they are forever loyal and true. I wish you the very best in the contest, my friend.
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wow this was great i cant express enough just how much I enjoyed it...wow....
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Wisdom here, indeed. It's so hard to exorcise one's past without something better to take it's place, and even then there may be vestiges of self gone missing, too.
I found this thought provoking in it's chemicalization of thought, in a rather dream-like way.
~K
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I really like this
When darkness falls in silence
I see in dreams at night
reflections of the feelings shared
fading with the light.
We can keep some feelings at bay during daylight hours but at night our thoughts and dreams can betray us. I'm a sucker for sad country songs. Bottle take Effect, Four walls,
Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone, Loving her was easier. Your poem has a kind of country song feel to it ... well I think so anyway
good luck with the contest
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This poem holds so much meaning once you've been in such a close relationship
and it dissolves. I've ofen wonderful how you can share such closeness and then
that same person becomes the most avoided stranger.
Wonderful write!
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David
A wonderful write filled with soft sentiment and beauty. Your wordsbring a smile to this readers face. And the rhyme...Perfecto. Excellent write as always.
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An excellent poem with a mile of meaning inside. I can relate to this one quite easily, from another of my my lives. Good luck my friend.
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