I suffered in silence for many years,
so full of myself, I thought I was God.
Electricity flew from my fingertips,
the silly X-men had nothing on me.
I was a damned drunk and a drug user,
had a better way to do things you see.
Your opinions didn't matter but mine did,
because nobody knew better than I.
I was plugged in, turned on, I was the bomb,
primed and ticking almost ready to blow.
Solar powered, batteries charged to full,
would light you up at the drop of a dime.
God stepped in one fateful Autumn night,
and two of my charges died on my shift.
Suicide entered my mind, I was lost,
a drunk caretaker was no man at all.
I had a "God moment", realized my sins,
and that is when my new life did begin.
I went to AA, with their open arms,
and after a time became who I am.
A man with no pride, at least very little,
humility is a hard pill to swallow.
Took pride in sobriety till recently,
when God once again showed my many faults.
And today I stand grounded, all faith in Him,
knowing His will works if I would let it.
Pride's a stumbling block I tripped over often,
but today I know that it's all His plan.
Author notes
The charges that died while I was supposed to be watching were 2 day old puppies. Their mother wrapped them up in the blanket and smothered them. They had already been sold sight unseen or at least promised to others. I found them when I came to the next morning, they were the only two of the litter that were show marked. That is what got me sober, and by the grace of God, October 1st was my 5 year sobriety anniversary.
I had already alienated the woman I was living with, she was away for the weekend with another man. The Mother of the puppies was my own Tessa, a champion Harlequin Great Dane. I will never forget the feeling of disgust and rage I felt at myself that day, and hope I never will.
Alcoholism is deadly serious, it does not play, it wants you dead.
If you or anyone you know suffers from an addiction to alcohol or drugs, I beg you to seek help from the local AA/NA office near you.
Hi, I'm Scott and I'm an Alcoholic/Addict.
In a list
A contest entry
- Emotions by Diminished Capacity.
1500 points, ended October 23, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
the boogyman will visit you tonight if you do not comment
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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puppies died 
bastard! you made me cry now!
I forgive you though, but only cause your poems are deeply moving, and inspirational and give me hope that my new son-in-law will treat my daughter good now his in recovery ... I still don't trust him though
"A man with no pride, at least very little,
humility is a hard pill to swallow." --> bravo. those lines really reach out
'grats on the Honourable Mention!
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very good
very sad
very realistic
now please send me the boogy man? -
I love poems like this. Reminds me how human we all are.
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Wow, brilliant piece. Absolutely astonishing, you did a great job with this. I lived with an alcoholic for 7 years, one who beat me and didn't remember doing it the next day. I wish he would have changed his life around like you have. Congrats to you and your sobriety, that is something to be very proud of, not many can do what you have done. Wonderful piece, thanks for sharing it with me and for entering my contest.
Please remember not to respond to my comment until contest is over. I want this to remain anonymous. -
wow!
OK. I have the same problem. I think I am on top of the world and that I know everything but it is because of this that I believe in myself. Also I am schizo-affective. But I couldn't imagine going to a meeting and saying Hi, I'm ____ and I have a mental disorder. But if I ever have to go to a mental hospital for a longer time they will probably make me. However, I don't believe I should let disease get me down.
I believe in God and wouldn't be here if it were not for my belief in Him.. There were times I'd thought I'd die every night. I still carry this fear with me. It makes it hard to live but I am doing OK.
Thanks for sharing. God bless!
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well once again we mention her.
Congrats on your sobriety
Blessings for many more years to come
Take care
Love,
Passionspromise
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