Your verses are an amber road.
Heart-crafted words,
polished beads
- glistening resin holding
portions of meaning –
strung on the sinews
of each author’s mother tongue,
travel trade-routes
and culture currents
to hang as ornaments
at the throat of speaking man.
Good this amber trade,
passing hand to hand across
the borders of the mind,
exchanged, rearranged,
russet colors in subtle lines
- glistening resin holding still
the portions of embedded meaning –
now aired to the hearing throng
as polished syllables,
versed gorget at the throat
of proclaiming man.
Author notes
Amber Road: Ancient Trade Route from the Baltic to Venice, trading in amber.
Gorget: A piece of armor protecting the throat; an ornamental collar.
Comments
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I love it... I'm so delighted to have come across such wonderful poetry today. Welldone!
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G'day JT,
Thanks for reading and your comment.
Ohio, eh? I met my wife at uni near Columbus. Any Fall colours left by now?
JG
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Exotic words to catch one's attention. Thanks for explaining what a gorget was.I like the repetitions you make at lines 5, 11 and at lines 17,20, and 21. I also like the relationship of "polished beads" to "polished syllables."
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I honestly can't believe I'm saying this, and I fear I may be forsaking my normally critical attitude, but I really don't have any major critiques.
The flowing is great, the word use (minus a supersaturation of Amber, though I figure that was intentional) is excellent and diverse, and the imagery is beautiful.
It's a quick yet deep read which is one of the better poems I've read in quite awhile. I loved it... and I hate not being able to complain more about it, since it's completely out of character, but hell...
Amazing job.
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G'day Cowboy,
I am delighted that I am the source of disabling your propensity for criticism, even if only temporarily.
Well, excluding the title, amber is only mentioned by name once per stanza, which I wouldn't consider supersaturation. It is of course alluded to throughout, which simply makes it an extended metaphor.
I suggest you take the time to read the poem again, aloud, and mine [pardon the pun] the metaphor for as many implications as you can.
Come to think of it; I'm going to change the title/first line a bit; and see how that changes the meaning(s). [I like tinkering]
Regards,
JG
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Very good, although I'd try to work the word amber out of the third line in the first paragraph, it becomes redundant early on in the poem but if you managed to work around that I see nothing else wrong. Exceptional word choice, a unique theme and very poignant.
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G'day VM. Not a bad suggestion. I've made that, and some other changes. Thanks.
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Yes indeedy! ...
A most unusual poem that speaks loudly of the art and craft of wordsmithing and it is graced by an good use of the English language. I stumbled on the word "boarders" as I was thinking 'borders' but after careful reconsideration I have decided, how clever of you to choose the one you did. In actuality it stirred my imagination to far rims of reminiscense ... and all those past poets of propensity.
j
y
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Joy: "Borders" it should have been. Thanks for catching my error! However, I do see how 'boarders' could also apply. 'Boarders' would have spoken of things, ideas or people in residence. However, I did intend borders, as it went with trade routes and travel.
However, I'm glad it sent your imagination somewhere.
JG
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Amazing!!
Ohh myy JG!! This is a truly amazing write!!
I love the use of metaphore and imagery and you have used them both absolutely brilliantly. This is a superb write and my fav of yours so far, I think it is your best!
Cherry
xxx
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The poet takes daily speech and makes it interesting, thereby proclaiming man. You do have a wonderful turn of phrase, my friend. Thoroughly enjoyed this poem, every word.
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This is lovely
I love a proclaiming man. It is about time, to read portions of embedded meaning, now aired to the hearing throng. As polished syllables, versed at the throat of proclaming man. May your words serve as a miracle. These polished syllables, touch my heart. And bring me back to love.
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