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Sand Castle Queen




Your castle erodes away, the moats have crumbled and gone,
dark knights that you dubbed have fled, you find yourself alone.
Furl your flags beneath your feet, set free your crying doves,
Let your teardrops quench the sand, as you weep for your lost loves.

Neptune will cradle you, fair queen, when tides rise with the moon,
dawn will cease the search for you, your reign was over too soon.
Many unborn secrets yet dwell, within your fruitless womb,
never to come into this world, the sea will be their tomb.

The queen is dead, long live the queen, as others take your place;
new castles built, with moats around, they wont recall your face.
New flags will fly, new queens are crowned, it is meant to be,
these are doomed to follow you, swept away by wind and sea.

The sand will swallow all traces, every turret so grand,
One is merely queen for a day in a castle built on sand.

Author notes

I really like the picture prompt, although my poem isn't dark, it might be depressing for those ones of us who have built castles upon the sand.

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • LisaRowe silver member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    loves it! very nice , love the title and the theme, very nicly done. lighter than asked for but very good and the depression plays well.

  • Purrsanthema
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    So very very beautiful!


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    exquisite...and yes, so true. Another masterpiece....brava!

    L

  • ecrivain01
    October 21

    Edit | Reply

    Since everything in life ...

    is transistory, I'd have to say that we all build castles on the sand. That aside, I really like the poem. Some will say this is not a sonnet since you've written it in rhyming couplets, but I don't really agree with that. I think that this is the Twenty-First Century and it's time that people quit worrying about those archaic rules like that one.

    IN any case, good luck with the contest.


    • malmadre gold member
      October 21
      Edit | Reply
      I just now realized that it's not standard sonnet form of any type, I enjoyed writing it though, thank you for reading Jim

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    " One is merely Queen for a day on a sandcastle built upon the sand" is quote worthy. A sense of desolation is keenly felt for the character you have created from the picture prompt yet your rhyme dances with rhythm.


    Bravo.

  • davidwright silver member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    You're getting philosophical - but after all that's what life's about, an adventure of the spirit, no matter where it leads. A lovely poem and worthy of win. Good luck and happy trails.

  • Bjarne gold member
    October 18

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Yes, you have demonstated, once again, not only your craft, but your gift as a teacher of life's lessons!

    I appreciate the opportunity to read your thoughts in poetic form!

    Bjarne


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    October 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite lovely. So many have placed roots in castles built from sand, only to see it washed away with the rising tide. Wonderful words and thought for this image prompt. A pleasure to read and enjoy. You never cease to write beautifully. ~Pamela


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    October 16

    Edit | Reply
    this is terrific Pat!
    sand Castle Queen, what a creative idea.
    Queen for a Day...remember that one?

    Fine structure, rhymes wonderfully

    one of your best!


    • malmadre gold member
      October 16
      Edit | Reply
      Yes, I remember Queen for a Day, gosh that was ages ago, we are old!


  • Dixie Dawn gold member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    A most excellent piece with this picture prompt penned ever so eloquently with thought provoking soul searching words. Thank You for sharing your wonderous talent!


  • nordicsky silver member
    October 13

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    Sweet, sweet poetry...it rhythm rose and fell like the swelling tides and I loved every word of it.

    Thanks for posting this,
    Life is indeed good when I can read poetry like this.
    Kind regards, Peter


  • Amera gold member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly a wonderful take on the picture prompt. I love it when the poem is better than the picture.

    Love,
    Amera

    • malmadre gold member
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, for it is such an honor for your words to grace my poetry. The picture haunted me for days, after I first saw it, it took me some time to find it again.


  • Forgotten truth
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    These would be the best I’ve read so fare, mostly because its rhymes... but the ending is so strong, I love the theme... and the story, and that you’ve taking a different look in to this.. Nice one

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