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Hello (18+)

She stirs the fire in my blood
and drives my senses wild
Her perfect scent with silken skin
leaves my manhood  ridged and riled

Teasing me with just a peek
a tawny nipple left quite bare
To slide those panties to the point
where used to be some hair

Beckoning me for a taste
of her dew that’s honey sweet
Sucking on a wiggling toe
I start licking from her feet

I tongue along the inner thigh
gently kissing her with care
Staking claim to those luscious curves
that fill her derrière

Darting in and out
my lips to suckle the moistened pink
Quenching thirst of wanton thoughts
with each and every drink

Softly fingers dance around
the barest edges of her flower
Tempting to unfurl the bud
and coaxing sensual showers

Caressing tender her body soft
my hands are filled with blissful joy
Of all her attributes I play
with shameless techniques I employ

And love the naked of her soul
as she gives her all to me
Spread as wide as desert sands
her beauty’s all I see

Succulent those quivering lips
now conquered by my mouth
Tantalizing fertile coves
I taste both north and south

To draw her into the wettest state
like tiny droplets of the rain
Sliding deep in her abyss
my life she does sustain

Oceans spill with cresting waves
that drench the two of us
And in our puddle we both lay
to love without a fuss

Wake the morn entangled
in this sensual web we weave
To find out it is Saturday
and neither has to leave

Exhausted now on Sunday night
as we lie awake in bed
Remembering we’re on the phone
and sex was in our heads


Author notes

Phone sex: make it feel like it is real
Thoughts of you my dear

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Corvus Corone
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sensual write, and if one is apart from a loved one phone sex can be very real as this write is. I'm not wholly sure it is fetish, I think that is more the phone lines advertised in certain magazines. I do like this write though and the lovely use of alternating rhyme gives it a ballad quality which really does appeal to me.

    Well done

    Score 96/100

    Corvus Corone


  • Master Ktulu silver member
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    This Is a very erotic write...


    spelling/grammar/punctuation- 19

    As I read this, it is true that all words are spelled correctly and proper use of tenses as well, however, I noticed that there was a word in one of your stanzas that was in question...one that is also no longer in your piece. Unfortunately changing that word is against the rules of the challenge.


    presentation/creativity-20

    As always, your presentation is amazing.

    how well you handled the challenge-15

    I really liked this piece, however, because it is about phone sex as a fetish, I think that it could have been done to appear more like that is what it is about rather than just a line at the end. As a reader, I enjoy those little twists but also as a reader I don't get the feel at all that it is about phone sex.

    "grab me" effect -20

    Like I said...it was a great story.

    overall-17
    _________________________________________

    Total- 91

    **Master Ktulu**


  • shimmer
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this. Sensual and well written. The only problem I had and it is just me was one word and to be honest with you I'm not even sure if it is right or wrong.

    Oceans spill with cresting waves
    that drench the two of us
    And in there puddle we both lay
    to love without a fuss

    For some reason I am having trouble with the word there. It is oceans you are talking about and not people so I am sure *their* would not fit and yet this one line has made me reread the paragraph several times before being able to moved on to the rest.

    spelling/grammar=19
    presentation=20
    how well you handled the challenge=20
    grab me=20
    overall=20

    total=99


  • Edie gold member
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    Very romantic and sensual Boog. The romantic mood makes me like this one even more than your write in the last round. This is a very fun round indeed and I don’t envy the judges a single bit!


  • liltulip gold member
    October 16
    Edit | Reply

    love

    imagery of the sex. you weave words well! best of luck in the contest!


  • whitecoffee
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    awww man!!! That is some vivid sex. I enjoyed the words in this very much, very sensual and well-written. Much luck to you


  • trublu09
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my... very vivid. Great word choice.

    Staking claim to those luscious curves

    her beauty’s all I see

    my life she does sustain

    ...these lines stood out. I really liked them.

    Best of luck in the contest.

    ~blu


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    This is very sensual
    So excellent for the prompt
    Hope all is well I have been sick but feeling better now
    Best of luck in the contest
    Hope you come visit me I have up 2 new ones too
    Hugs
    Susan~~~


  • Riftkin gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Yummy and so full of .. wantom heat, yes that is how it is done on a Sunday night. Wonderful take for your prompt, and best of luck with this.

    With all my love, and all the lust we share together,
    from your lady, and your wife...

    Joann


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm.
    well, im no pro but this was good...but..
    you shouldnt have to explain you're on the phone..
    Defeats the purpose of making it feel real...
    Master Ktulu from what i can remember loved the imagery
    and picture painted not the tell part.

    Than again, Im known to be wrong..on occassion.

    s just my opinion.

    Other then that this piece is sensually appealing.

    Good luck with your challenge

    Passionspromise

1 - 10 of 10