Play By Play

I feel as if
I have a wooden spike
To every heart I meet

Will one word break
Their innocence?
The fragility of it all scares me

When is there time to be honest
When is there space for truth
With the worry of hurting-someone?

Someone, anyone, I saw you
A shake of your hand
A quick name

Little do you know
I have the burden
Of your heart, the responsibility

So easily broken
Like an over-ripe apple skin
Help me, the guilt plays over and over


Is this the price of honesty?
Of protecting my own self?
My own heart is in a pitcher of guilt

For playing the song of my heart
Aloud, where others may hear
For letting go, speaking

These feelings
I don't want them
They play with my conscience

Like a twisted puppeteer
What can I do
Lie?

The most horrible thing
Is hearing your voice
Or lack of one, break down and cry.

All this for being honest.

Mayhap honesty isn't worth it
I'll point the pike of feelings
At my own heart

And let them grind and fester
Great gaping holes into my soul
Now: Submerging my heart in the vinegar of feelings

So that you do not have to suffer
My honesty