Oh tree,
how you've hearkened to me
In the midnights of the wind.
And now I ask you,
as Ive watched you un-bloom
to listen to my heart , soul determined.
Ive seen your leaves shaking,
falling... Breaking,
but please don't fret the cold winters breeze.
For my heart goes to you,
as I in full bloom,
oh tree Ill always hearken to thee.
Author notes
Unique rhyme scheme- aab, ccb, dde, cce.
Its "literally" about a tree who the narrator has always confided in and talked to , because the tree always listened no matter what, and the narrator in the winter season sees this tree's leaves falling, and watches this tree fall apart. The narrator having compassion for his tree for always listening to him then try's to comfort the tree by letting the tree know that its hardships will pass with the season, and that he will always be there to listen to him, because the tree put the narrator in "full bloom" and always cheered him up, and the narrator wants to do the same for him.
The "Figurative" meaning is relating the tree to a friend of mine who Ive seen down in the dumps lately, and he normally is always there for me, and is always there to cheer me up, and in this poem Im letting him know that Im always here for him too.
A contest entry
- For Some Friends... by Heavenly Angel.
700 points, ended October 20, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This too shall pass by findingurself.less.
801 points, ended October 19, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Little Motivation by WuzGood.
1500 points, ended October 20, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Thought You Had Me? by shysky.
550 points, ended October 28, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? Do you get the theme?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is good! I personally hate the word hearken.... I don't know why.... Nothing against you, just some strange personal preference.... I know, I am crazy! LOl Great Job!
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Good
Good write, and the addition in your notes made it better. I enjoyed reading this, thanks and good luck in the contest.
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Ummm....
I get the theme. However, I thought you're explanation was more interesting. Your two paragraph explanation was better written - more metaphors. Perhaps you should have incorporated some of that into the poem and I am NOT drunk. LOL
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also , I wrote and gave this poem to my friend, she cried and gave me a big hug and said she loved me haha. That was this poems intent. I entered a contest and was told to write something up lifting and about cheering some one up or something positive like that so I wrote this for my friend, it wouldnt be very effective and made it super complex to where she had to re read it a hundred times just to get that I was trying to say im always there for her. I was better off making it simple, with a nice easy flowing rhyme scheme, peaceful imagery, and a reassuring theme
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Well it was my first positive styled poem. If you want great metaphors and allusions, go to my poem "The darkness that follows the light" its one of those poems that will live on forever and I may become famous for long after Im dead haha , you never know, It could happen, no but seriously, thats the best poem ive ever written, wrapped in much emoition, beliefs, and trully makes the reader think. hahaha I know your not drunk kinda hard to wrap up 12 lines in big metaphors, Im a big metaphor guy, but I wanted to write something simple for a change since most of my writes are complex and often elusive with sometimes almost esoteric allusions and themes.
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I like this one a lot! It reminds me of a special place I go to vent and write when I dont feel like sharing with my loved ones. It also reminds me of a Damien Rice song that Ive always been drawn to. Good luck in your contest and thanks for sharing!
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thanks , glad you liked my poem. writing and my music is my outlet for venting.
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Wonderful
This piece shows true craftsmanship for words. You did a wonderful job with this! I like it a lot!
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glad you enjoyed it, its my first positive sounding poem. all my others have deeper elusive meanings that make you think. If you want a poem to make you think then check out " the darkness that follows the light" most people like that poem the most.
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awe it's like you're speaking to a girl. it's beautiful. I really like this :
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Very nice
Unique and creative piece; I enjoyed the metaphor
Thank you so much for a very positive and pretty piece!
All the best to you!!!!
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