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Memoirs Of A Poet Who Adored Dylan Thomas Just A Little Too Much

My life's a series of half-finished novels and drug fuelled decay,
A serene obsolscence. Through the dingy mist of past years
I see women, like enamel, broken because of my habits.
Acid bathed ambitions and images with no warranty.
Hospitable delusions and corrupted youth, chances
Never taken but piled in my own private hall of shame.
Decrepit beliefs in my mission now emblazened in
My memory, tattered, frayed, hopeless. I gave up my prospects
For venal abuse, love for emotional corrosion and....
Posterity for a philosophy I never wholly agreed with.

My life is a mish-mash of pathetic endevours, the only thing that remains
Is the solemn, heartily knowledge that I'd not shrink at doing it all again.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • JinSays gold member
    October 12

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    Obsolescence is the state of being which occurs when a person, object, or service is no longer wanted even though it may still be in good working order. Obsolescence frequently occurs because a replacement has become available that is superior in one or more aspects.

     

    I'd never even heard of that word, or at least if I have, I don't remember. I had to go and find it in Wiki, so a big high five on that one.

     

     

     I see women, like enamel, broken because of my habits.

    love that line.

     

    For venal abuse, love for emotional corrosion and....

     

    venal? 

     

    I adore emotional corrosion......and...that's fantastic,

    leaves the reader with a smile on her face. 

     

    I love Thomas, but can only get to a certain point before I have to put him away. There's a gloominess that's hard to shake, hangs over me for days afterwards.

     

    The title really caught my eye.

    But I don't like him too much, so I guess I can believe I'm safe, right?

     

    Excellent write,

    thank you for featuring.

    love,

    jin


  • brochoppie
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this piece is great! This is definately one of my favorites that I have read on here so far. I think that so many of us can relate to you in this. My favorite part is `Hospitable delusions and corrupted youth, chances never taken but piled in my own private hall of shame.` Most of what you said is what so many of us think and feel, but are too scared to say. You are so young to have these thoughts? Anyways, I look forward to reading more from you.


  • rockchick93
    October 12

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!

    Love the title and the imagery!! Beginning is great: My life's a series of half-finished novels and drug fuelled decay,

    and so is this: My memory, tattered, frayed, hopeless. I gave up my prospects
    ^___^ Its great, good job!!