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For Sharon

I blow this kiss may it fly accross the sea,
may it find you and bring you closer to me.

Sweet like a flower you are to me,
so sweet the thought of you makes me free.

As the alaskan snow falls around the beautiful trees,
may my loving thoughts fall around you with ease.

Your smile never fails to excite my senses,
cheeky cute and minus all tention.

As the stars arms glitter around the night sea with the moon,
may i find my arms wrapped around you real soon.




Feel free to read and leave a comment,thanks.

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  • Stuart Higginson gold member
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    "As the alaskan snow falls around the beautiful trees,
    may my loving thoughts fall around you with ease."

    I really liked these lines. Specifying the snow and its region gave the image (and poem) a much more personal touch, made it more "real".

    "Your smile never fails to excite my senses,
    cheeky cute and minus all tention."

    In the above couplet, you abandoned rhyme, yet it was not immedately noticeable. It had a good rhythm, and the sounds of senses/tension worked for me. You should explore freeverse, as I think you could work well using word sounds more freely, without the restrictions of having to find a rhyme match.

    Be careful of typos/spelling mistakes though, as they do detract from the reader's enjoyment of a poem. Easiest way - if you have it on your pc - is to write up your poems in Microsoft Word, which will highlight them in red, so you can address them and then copy and paste them into the AP text editor. It's also more reliable to save your work in Word first, especially if AP is running on faults and you lose your work while trying to save/add it here etc


    • Running Poet
      October 18

      Edit | Reply
      Hi Stuart,
      I'm glad you liked those lines,i did also as it does hold special significance with myself and my girlfriend,where i write of Alaska.
      I'm not the best at using word and so forth and even tried doing what you said,i cut and paste this poem into word pad document .
      However it didn't automatically select any errors in red,so was there a mistake or perhaps there weren't any?Or how do i make it work correctly?
      Thanks for your comments and advice

      Derek aka Running Poet


      • Stuart Higginson gold member
        October 19
        Edit | Reply
        Hey Derek,

        I didn't edit/mark out the typos and other things, as I wasn't sure if you'd appreciate them on your page, lol. But if you want me to cast an editorial eye over it and give you some suggestions, then I'm happy to do so.

        Re the software ~ you need to use Microsoft Word, not Wordpad, as Wordpad doesn't have the function to analyse grammar and spellings etc., though I disregard its syntax/grammar suggestions which it underlines in green! Most versions of Word these days will query any spelling errors and words it's not sure about, in red, which makes it much easier to catch the typos and whatever. Wordpad is just a very basic text editor, hence doesn't have the features you would most benefit from. If you don't have Word, I'd consider investing when you're able. I think the allpoetry text editor also has a spellchecker and things on it/on the editing page when you're posting the poem, which could be an alternative - be aware it's likely to be in American English though

        Yes, I had a sense that the Alaska reference contained something personal to you ... it's those finer details that always bring the poem to life, I believe!