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Drifting Petal

Dreaming of a better day to come along, I
Reach out to taste this bittersweet life, I
Instigate the fruitfulness of my own self-consciousness
Feeling nothing from what has been
Taken from the inside
Whatever has been seen in me
Or has been opened up in me, I have
Over-rated, I have
Driven away, I am a
Rose in many ways
Offering help to other
Self-consciousnesses
Even those who hurt less than me

Author notes

Written on 10th April 2004 at 18:30 GMT

An acrostic of the poet driftwoodrose

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Danna
    June 1, 2005
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    I really like the flow on this one, like a lot of the lines are actually half and half, of the statement before and the one to follow, you know what I mean, how like at the end of the line you will have "I am" and then it continues on the first half of the second line... does that make sense? I love poems like that, and it is really easy to do for an acrostic or an ABC poem.


  • bakacoconut
    October 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    It's ironic how you'd submit an acrostic poem about driftwoodrose, when it is she who is my AP daughter lol. Anyways, the flow was nice, I think and I enjoyed it greatly Great work and best of luck to you in the contest!

    Coconut


  • DefinitiveFreak silver member
    July 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I am a rose because I have risen above my past qualms and am able to help other people now. Even those who hurt less than me, as it says. Thanx for yer comment, sometimes my work makes sense to people, sometimes it doesn't. Maybe one day you will.

  • artemisia
    July 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering. I liked the first parts, saying that regardless of the past, it doesn't stop you from living, from tasting life, and from being content. My only critique is that the last four lines didn't seem to connect that easily with the previous parts.


  • July 20, 2004
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    To compare oneself to a flower, many layers are there each pealed away by the falling of the petals, and what is left? A stem that was once strong and with thorns, but if you look closer you will see that with strength comes pride, and with the petals falling you will notice a new bud to replace the old, but not without the memories of the past, look to the future but never forget how you got there. Take care, Lissa


  • neuentag
    June 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is very beautiful... thanks so much for entering it... i love the form you used, you could have structured it differently but you did it instead in a very unique and scattered way that i truly love... best of luck!
    )O( neuentag


  • NeonNihilism
    April 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    oooh, wow, this is really good!! i suck at arcostics, unlike you. this is just, well, absolutely wow!!!it flowed excedingly well, and each line led straight into the next!!
    great job on this, thank you for entering!!!
    so-chan

  • BlazingSwords
    April 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    oooh, this is really neat. I quite like it. Heh, I suck at doing acrostic poems like this, mine always turn out all funny and never get posted cuz they suck so badly ^_^ GO ME!! Haha.

    Very nice poem though. And who is Dashiel Harrison? Lol

    -Heather

1 - 8 of 8