She's the girl in the coffee shop
sipping her au lait
to acoustic poetry rapping
on the guitar
Brown eyes
watch me fall
into canyons, caverns
cast by your shadow
beautiful,beautiful
brown eyes
She's the girl
jacket to her knees
scent of ivy in her hair
winding about
Brown eyes
pick me up
catch me with
your coffee filtered words
beautiful, beautiful
brown eyes
A contest entry
- This is a contest. by atrophy.
750 points, ended October 25, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
let me know what you think
Comments
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I have no idea what Chaos is takling about, but I like this! I like how the setting is a coffee shop and you play on that theme in the last stanza. I think S3 is my favorite, but I'm not sure why. haha. Great work, this piece is refreshing, especially because I like to come to the uni coffee shop to do my writing! ~Keys
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Mesmerizing
mm, I can see them. I dated a girl once who had brown eyes and I know those caverns by heart. Though I had to laugh I'm sure you didn't mean this but it makes it sound like her shadow is the canyons and caverns, which brings a smile to my face thinking about a very large southern bell with brown eyes casting mountainous shadows.
well written. -CC
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Very poetic and emotional. A nice smooth poem. Good luck in the contest.
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