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Collected cigar boxes

Language crashes against skin
in sublime exhales of rocking rhythm

sealed inside soft chambers
there, just behind bottled emotion
three wishes emerge from the cool leg of October

hidden in small smiles
washed and tumbled in cold blue
there sits a thin line between sanity and insanity

silent stillness sometimes soothes sensations
molded from facial expressions
that long ago melted inside Sunday's sermon

half notes wash ashore
in circumstances out of my control
like crisp white collars
starched and ready for prim and proper

I wanna be free
hollowed out like a tree stump
empty skin stretched taunt over brittle bones
lost inside winter quiet
as the seasons commit yet again

but...
there is a mass of things hidden
settled into cracks of an unpredictable pause

like angel eyes that strike my soul
freedom is tucked away
with innocence
and judgment deserves distance
as rain falls softly inside November

I crash into myself
and continue to hide secrets in cigar boxes

BecZ 10-11-09

Author notes

Prompt: "and I sing only half notes, never whole"

A contest entry

Ehhhh...improvment is needed

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • poetryality silver member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    Oh yes! So worthy of the Gold Chalice you received. I love the initial feel of the words right on to the last delight, which hides those personal secrets, innuendoes of the past... This is wonderfully eccentric and that makes me think of me. Congratulations on a job exceedingly well done!


    Always ♥

    Renee


  • crivanea silver member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    dang.....wow i love the 6th stanza..the way you worded it ...and great alliteration through the poem as well..this one was perfect : silent stillness sometimes soothes sensations this is stunning

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    " And judgement deserves distance" spoke to me, for sometimes we are distanced by judgement by allowing a new impression to form. Esp. liked " three wishes emerge from the cool leg of October" as if the leg is taking the steps necessary to make those wishes come true. Ah, the bottled emotion, sometimes it's poured and re packaged, isn't it? I heard you singing in semi-quavers poetess.


  • Cannonsfire
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing stuff Beckster, loved this and that ending...the pigeonhole of life's little things lol I guess we fit them all inside one

  • Rowan gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    nice one Beck... sigh

  • I SO wanted to write for this prompt, and have continued coming up empty. You are awesome! This is a great piece that she was absolutely love. Nice to see you post.

1 - 6 of 6