go,
He said, fly,
what is the point of a kite
if it won't?
and she just shrugged Him off,
reached down, removed
the tail of bows
He'd handcrafted--
beauty is a blessing,
He stated. matter-of-factly,
He wanted her
to
shine. she doesn't know how;
brushing off the logs
that held her back
together, as if
nothing. He climbed a mountain
to saw
the thickest trunk, then proceeded
to carry it down
alone. all
because
He wanted the best support
for her back that kept
growing crooked
under the weight of her mind.
and burdens
on her shoulders,
which He plucked off
contently.
most surprisingly, she cut the string
that attached her
to Him. on her legs with
her own fingers, secretly
she knew
were scissors. He cried
as she walked away. He wished
she was gliding in the sky,
a spectacle, for the world. a dancer
in the moon's glow. someone
who could keep stars
in her pockets
without burning through.
this is what He made her
for.
but now she's grounded,
walking on her own
mortal legs,
He sighs. calls out.
she tries not to
hear. the horizon
consumes her. hips
swaying.
A contest entry
- a contest since I haven't had one in a while. by etoile.
1500 points, ended October 25, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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oops I was going to give clappy guys.
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He climbed a mountain
to saw
the thickest trunk,
---
saw should be see.. I think.
I really like this, something about it really speaks to me. it's probably the tone and style of this piece. very original and I like all the imagery you use. the ending is quite blunt and real and I really like that. I can relate well to this too.
goodluck and thanks for entering
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I meant saw... as in sawing down a tree. I can see why you thought I meant see though.
Thank-you for the comment, and for hosting! -
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ooh makes sense!
haha
sorry about that
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man this is nice, definitly liked this write and this my first time reading your stuff i beleive.
i look forward to reading more
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What comes to my mind is Augusten Burroughs; meaning, if you haven't read him, do it. In other words though, this is so steady. Its a poetic story and you have stellar imagery through out.
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Thank-you for the comment.
I googled him and I read up on him a little, but I couldn't find any samples of his writing?
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He's just an author, not a poet.
I don't know if you have heard of Running with scissors, which is now a movie, but he wrote that.. -
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Never heard of it. Should I have? I will have to put the book on hold at the library.
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And yes! You should have
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and hire the movie; even though the book is better
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the beginning sets the tone for the entire piece. I truly love this piece, but some of the key lines that truly bring it together are as follows:
"removed
the tail of bows
He'd handcrafted--"
and
"most surprisingly, she cut the string
that attached her
to Him."
"but now she's grounded,
walking on her own
mortal legs,"
and so many others, but I can't point them out because then I would be copying your entire poem here >.< the short lines are brilliant in this piece. I can't tell you enough how much I love this metaphor. I'm permanently bookmarking this, I swear
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Thank you for your kind words.
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