In just a few moments they'll throw the big switch
to energize circuits, the purpose of which
is running the networks and hardware routines
controlling the planet's ten billion machines.
The cameras and sensors in wide-spread arrays
will monitor "vitals" in so many ways,
from coffee pots, telephones, vehicle health,
to private investments and personal wealth.
They'll tap into furnaces, coolers and fans,
they'll modulate bicycles, autos and vans.
Their meters are watching each faucet and light,
they'll regulate networks, each bit and each byte.
Their nano-bot "fingers" will dip in your "pies,"
They'll know all your business, the "who, what and whys."
So nothing will happen without their consent,
they'll know to the penny how each penny's spent.
Computers will dictate each person's career,
there's nothing to wish for and nothing to fear.
They'll manage your actions, your habits and sleep;
they'll manage your health care as long as it's cheap.
They'll solve every problem, eliminate fate,
no thought is permitted except by the State:
(The "State" is a program that runs from a chip,
it downloads instructions to all in its grip.)
The program is structured to circumvent war,
no famines or hardships are ever in store,
for Microsoft Universe runs the whole show...
The poem ends here: (I'm instructed to go.)
Author notes
For Option 3: Poem about the Future
v. umpteen.1
A contest entry
- Make me think by Mr. Jones.
1300 points, ended October 15, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 13 options. Something for Everyone!!! by iamthebeatles.
1200 points, ended November 9, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think and why did you think it?
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Incredible.
Insightful.
Inspiring...and
EEK!!! Scary.
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The rhythm and rhyme of this are superb! The idea behind it is frighteningly accurate . . . for I fear we are about to be under the thumb of those who would subdue us.
Lately I have been hungering for the kind of freedom free men once knew when you did for yourself and didn't wait on anyone to do for you . . . and that is the only way to do things your own way. When others do something for you, they own you in a small way; when they do everything for you they own you complete.
Seems there are many lessons folks have recently forgotten . . . lessons about tyranny and oppression . . . how I hope those lessons are not forgotten forever.
Excellent write. Great message. Very thought provoking.
Garrison
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The best
This is the best piece I have read on allpoetry for a very long time. It's rhythm and rhyme form is spot on. A very insightful observation on this worlds ultimate technological control over each and everyone of us. From Huxley to Orwell to micro-chips to nano-bots and beyond ! -
this is wonderful. Not only is it written well with great rhymes and a superb rhythm, but the idea is, how you wrote it in here funny, but in reality it is frightening. It was thought provoking, and I have read 1984 and am familiar with the song by Zager and Evens, so I do not take these kinds of things lightly. I adore this work.
peace
Cassie -
That was one of best poems I've read all night, thoroughly enjoyable! It was reminiscent of a Zager & Evans song "In the Year 2525", to me. I love that song, and I love this poem. Well done, man!
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Glad you enjoyed! I'll have to fetch the lyrics from the song you mention... I know I've heard it on the radio before, but not recently and probably not clearly. Thank you too for including actual title and artist... I can sort of hear the refrain in my head, but probably didn't know enough to even google it.
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In The Year 2525 ...
actually is a damned good song.
Congrats on the trophy and hopefully the one you will have shortly as well.
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Might you be able to propound upon the code they are using so I can actively manipulate my account to increase instead of dimminish.
One little stick pin through any of the network cables, neatly clipped on each end after insertion shall serve to ground out the whole transmission. Its such a devious trick that takes mortal hands to seek out...........not that I would have ever done it though........lol.
It did make me think a wee bit...........
Thanx for the write, it was thought provoking and enjoyed.
Now I am told to go.......
HammeR -
Congratulations on such a brill write which i enjoyed reading from beginning to end. Beautiful flow and seemlessly masterful.
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Moony! xxx's and ooo's 2U!
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I don't get tense over the "tense" issue. A great poem is a great poem. And THIS is a great poem, filled with sarcastic wit and a perfectly pleasing Dr. Suess kind of flow. Thank you!
Write On!
jIM
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Hopefully a little dose of lunacy will cheer you up Sadman! Thank you for the nice remarks and clapping coolies.
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I think you have scared me now! I feel a sudden urge to wear a cone on my head made of shaped aluminium and switch every electrical device off!
Objective achieved ..... you made me think.... and made me paranoid
I am off to buy an Apple Mac now. My thumb is raised to you.
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Argh. I AM addicted to this joint! Thanks Gar. I may as well admit it... I'm never leaving
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Excellent!
Resistance is conflict, acceptance brings inner peace
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I just read about the FBI using drivers license photos to catch criminals through facial recognition. Computation at the speed of light makes it all possible. Good write.
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Thanks for the info, Pat. I'll see what I can do to smudge my driver's license photo!
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Lol this was great. We are kinda already halfway there. The rhyme and structure and flow are great. Good luck in the contest.
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I like the way that you switch from future to present in the last stanza. Very good.
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I was painfully aware of "this 'tense' thing" at the line:
Their nano-bot "fingers" dip everyone's "pies,"
which likewise crossed the border from future to present... a sort of glitch in the Matrix, as the poem popped right back into future tense again. I had a creative mindblock in regards a good fix. Everything is subject to revision, though. Thank God for people like Whitman who set the example by tweaking his first book on his deathbed!
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Fun take on a not so funny topic. Love the ending.
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Hey Top, thanks for stopping by. Oh, it's a funny topic because people are funny. ...but this new Microsoft product is an assignment from community organizer, Nobel Peace Prize winner, and all around good guy (and control freak) Barack H. Obama & Co. in an effort to contain all the out of hand dissidents who are steeped in (and deluded by) a pathological disorder wherein they yearn to be free. How can society evolve in an orderly manner when you've got hundreds of millions of citizens running about making decisions on their own, most of which are at odds with the decisions Barack would make for them? Obviously, this freedom thing needs to be swept under a rug as soon as possible because, if there is any shred of freedom left come the next election, Barack's whole troupe of goofball misfits will be bounced out of office and that WILL NOT please the Bomma!
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Yes, it was MUCH better to have an administration that was simply chipping away at the bill of rights [Bush & Co.], rather than one that wants to take on the Insurance and Drug companies [Obama & Co.]... even though they will lose. {sigh}
Jim -
I thought the Constitution said that there would be freedom for the people until the president recognized that the people could not take care of themselves? No?
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Great flow well penned the rhyme is flawless
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A fantastic but scary concept!So well written and just a little too near reality!
Montey
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But when we're all happy (as circuits decreed)
Rejoicing in ending of everyday greed
There will come a moment we take our last breath
The World will have crashed in a "Blue Screen of Death"!!!
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I'd considered something along those lines, but I haven't seen a blue screen in ages. Then it occurred to me that the universe could end when they flashed the chip with version two-point-oh. Your ending is good though, taking a different tack with the happiness factor.
Glad you enjoyed it! OK, enough lollygagging... back to your assigned duties.
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