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Masked

Your charismatic smile and glinting eyes
Have sparked a feeling just once felt before.
Yet, far beyond my league, it's no surprise
I don't anticipate a feeling more
Than this. But this will keep me quite content.
For just aknowledging me will suffice.
For though affection isn't your intent
Your words, however plain, still sound so nice...

The opposite of all that I desire
And yet... you are. Your wish is my command.
If you commanded it, I'd light the fire,
But now the logs are cold. And cold they'll stand.

For you, my love, would never stoop so low
To kiss this face. Besides, you'll never know.

Author notes

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • poets whisper silver member
    November 12
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely. I'm used to a sonnet being written in a somewhat different style ... all together until the last two lines, but I love this so much that I don't care
    "For though affection isn't your intent
    Your words, however plain, still sound so nice..." I have found myself feeling just this way
    and you express it very well.

  • Great write in sonnet form I enjoyed reading.

  • Eusebius
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    More, much more than worthy of the gold, platinum perhaps! A beautufully composed, stunning and powerful sonnet! One of your best! Needless to say I loved it.


  • Nomadic Prince
    October 12
    Edit | Reply

    Bitter Remorse

    Cold and Clammy come to mind when I read this, wonderfully so as you depict this sad relationship fail by the day. -CC


    • Frodofan silver member
      October 12
      Edit | Reply
      Cold and clammy?

      • Nomadic Prince
        October 12
        Edit | Reply
        yes, as if your feet were uncovered on a particularly chilly night. That is how I see the person in this piece relating to her hatred of wanting to be loved so badly by someone who will never see, I take back what I said about a failing relationship. It's non-existent beyond his flashing smile and "plain vanilla" friendship.

        • Frodofan silver member
          October 12
          Edit | Reply
          Interesting, because I was not trying to portray the slightest bit of "hatred" in this one, just love and contentment, despite what can never be.


  • Iliad Keys
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    Ugh. This one sure is heartsick, and it hits home with me right now. The closing six stanzas are great, it was was skillful the way you wrapped the sentences from line to line. I wasn't sure is you wanted a period after "Cold they'll stand" or if that though continued into the next stanza, but it should work well either way. Bravo and good work! Interesting sonnet structure, which form is this?

    • Frodofan silver member
      October 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I did want a period there.

      It's just an english sonnet, though certainly not the most perfect example as far as volta and all.


  • Pattiboo silver member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    Unrequited love the age old story worshiping from afar hungry for signs love is returned afraid to reveal your own feelings fearing rejection.

    I especially like the last 2 lines sums it up perfectly
    good luck in the contest.

1 - 10 of 10