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In Drift

A lush fire
shatters the dark of night,
listening to the moon
as dust billows within.

Listing sidewards
sliding back,
left alone
seeing heaps
of crumpled life,

crouching for warmth

or comfort ---

as snow begins to fall.

Author notes

"We are all in the gutter, but
some of us are looking at the stars." --Oscar Wilde

A contest entry

Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Naridill
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    Speaks in a mellow tone. I adore the use of language to evoke emotion. A little too descriptive but the words you have chosen do enhance the experiment. Overall, I like it.


  • Amera gold member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    The imagery in this poem is wonderful and original. The first stanza actually creates a loud sound as I read of the fire shattering the night.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • AlexandraHamilton
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you used the prompt. The way you let it inspire you. The first line, I must say, is my favorite. Well said poet

    Best of luck in the contest.