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Scenario B

I'm just a teenage boy,
Just a petty toy
Of society

This guitar is all I know
The father I never knew
Died where I sit

The smell is rancid
Oddly, though, entrances.
Tears fly from my fingers,
Trying to talk
Music is the only words I know--

The way time flows,
Things that are sewn
Father dead,
The garbage men are coming
For you

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Randomly Beautiful
    October 14
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering. Tis lovely work you have submitted.


  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    a bit abstract but keeps the readers attention, nonetheless. I especially enjoy the last lines, "Father dead,
    The garbage men are coming
    For you"
    I might recommend changing the title to something that suits this piece specifically and putting "scenario b" in your author notes
    good luck in the contest!