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Ennui



I'm bored beyond my own understanding
Same taste in my mouth of the same old drink-
Life's a liquor waste, staining old stains
Drinking drunk

Somehow stuck inside a crack
A self-made, self-defeating fall
Between my two worlds that collide

Breaking broken,
To me, the bones of patience are stiff and old-
An old man sitting cold inside this coffin
Called my body

Sealed

Maybe that's how they know me
No one took the time to know me
And now...

Same old boredom
Staring at a wall called my heart
Today it's beating fast, too fast

Author notes

Definitely inspired by ATAL's Stab City....
"Don't say you see me."

In my own way, I get Daniel and his lyrics/singing... Going unseen hurts.

Enjoy

A contest entry

Any Merit? Any Constructive Criticism? Any Thought? Meaningful comments please.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • liquidmindforever gold member
    October 17

    Edit | Reply

    Brava to the Poet!

    Moving on the train to nowhere same old same old
    boldly on to somewhere nowhere, no one there, no one cares.

    Congratulations! on the GOLD.
    Way to Go Kristy!
    I AM PROUDLY PROUD OF YOU--
    Yours till....
    liquid stays still


    • MoonHelixEpiphany
      October 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you me belle diamante,

      I appreciate the support and you, bonne amie. Merci pour tout

      Je taime,
      Kristy


  • Roy Flynn silver member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    "Somehow stuck inside a crack
    A self-made, self-defeating fall
    Between my two worlds that collide"

    I'm not gonna lie, you tore this up! You really did take not just the prompt but the entire song, and then some to another level. Delving even deeper interpretting the meanings.

    I'm a huge ATAL fan. And this i could just see as there song. Daniel's heavenly voice lulling me to sleep

    Great job, good luck in the contest

    Much love, Roy Flynn


    • MoonHelixEpiphany
      October 17
      Edit | Reply
      You brat, thx for the gold Flynn, I cant stop smiling and singing this song

    • MoonHelixEpiphany
      October 11

      Edit | Reply

      Too nice.

      I cant believe you compared me to ATAL.... Ther are so amazing!!!! Thank for your comment and kindness. Im glad it didnt bore you. I appreciate it Roy

      Kristy

1 - 5 of 5