In my reflection I saw the scars,
like candles in the dark they shined like stars;
between night and day this land was ours,
but my former self has ceased to be.
From my past the remains of my angels still bring
sadness to the world, and our god for dying.
In my plans to extinguish all my suffering,
death, cold, fear and silence still remained in me.
Floating like a feather I fell to the earth,
where my wings were torn, not to rebirth.
Since then the darkness has proved its worth,
and has found itself in me.
Flightless I no longer reign supreme,
alone I walk sightless it seems,
the shadows have all deafened my screams,
For in darkness myself I can not see.
From my past the remains of my angels still bring
sadness to the world, and our god for dying.
In my plans to extinguish all my suffering,
Oh darkness never set me free.
Author notes
The picture is my prompt, and this poem is actually new and not a pre write, I just didnt write it in your contest thing, but I wrote it for this contest specifically. I saw the picture of an angel with black wings and came up with a story.
Its about an angel who snapped and killed many of his angels and brought back their remains. After that he couldn't stand the sight of himself , and after disappointing the world and his god. Then after he was cast out of heaven and roamed the earth, he fell in love with the darkness because in darkness he couldn't see himself and didnt have to look at the reflection of what he had become like he did in the beginning of the poem when he saw all his (Figurative) scars.
"From my past the remains of my angels bring
sadness to the world, and our god for dying."
A contest entry
- Dark writes by darkyinsoul.
700 points, ended October 19, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 2: Enter your best Prewrite... by Sheilasbabygal4life.
400 points, ended November 6, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? Do you get the theme?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This was a very well written piece of work you have here. I enjoyed reading this. You can go too round 3. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in round 3.
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Excellent
take on the prompt
thanks for the author notes.. love the story line
you have penned
love this stanza...
In my reflection I saw the scars,
like candles in the dark they shined like stars;
between night and day this land was ours,
but my former self has ceased to be.
welcome to the finalist list
thanks for the share
Darky
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Thanks so much
Thanks for enjoying it and putting me on the final list, was mine the only new poem? I hope not. I spent a lot of time on this.
but it did flow right out of me, this style comes natural to me.
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strong
"shodows have deafened my scream". hell, i wish i wrote that. you are a fine writer.
kevin o'connor
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haha, thanks. glad you liked it. If you liked this one you would LOVE my gold winning "the darkness that follows the light" poem, its my best poem. read it if you want, ill have a gander at yours.
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beautiful
the impression i get from this is kind of like falling. you get hurt so you start to tumble and you cling to the only thing there, even if it is there to help you. this is a beautiful write, thank you for sharing it. -
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SO very glad that you enjoyed it Ive been able to write a lot more lately, its been nice.
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Thought this was a lovely poem. Nice idea, it's a shame it is to be removed. Do not let that deter you. Find another and enter it in that. Nice job
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ah your welcome
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Remove pole from backside @ Charlie i thought it was great! the concept of wanting to stay in darkness because there it feels like your alive very well done
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Thanks for defending me, You are VERY CLOSE almost spot on, you missed like 2 minor details that lead to the main point. In the beggining he couldnt stand the sight of himself and what hed become after killing his following angels after he snapped and the "For in darkness myself I can not see." is a litteral meaning, because he litterally could not see himself in the darkness, which is why he fell in love w/ it. But to each interperitation his own, and im so glad you read and enjoyed my poem , it is so nice to have Loving readers.
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This poem has no place in my contest. I will be removing it.
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Great poem and I agree with writer below that verse was one of my favorites. Good Luck in all contests.
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Im so very glad you like my poem, wow if that picture is you your gorgeous, I apologize, I often digress. Any ways, Ive been able to write more lately, its been nice.
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Nice
awesome peom.
"Floating like a feather I fell to the earth,
where my wings were torn,not to rebirth" im lovin that part -
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Thanks man, I wanted to do a poem w/ a more difficult structure, you prolly noticed the first 3 lines in ever stanza ( group of 4 lines) rhymed and then the last line in every stanza rhymed aswell. It was difficult but i tried to make it work. Im gonna work on it still but i think i did an okay job considering the structure.
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