My heart is mine

The problem I have lies within my  heart.
My light must of gotten confused as it merged into dark.
To the world happy I seem
But in my mind I punish myself for who should I dream
Your so lucky they say as I smile
only one would know the fake behind it. But no answer to the phone I had dialed.
My Pillow is soaked stained with tears.
Wishing the answer could be so clear.
I know its not love as he says it is.
But I dont want to break it off
I yearn, a kiss
I like him I do but his words feel wrong
my thoughts disturbed to the early dawn.
How could I be so stupid as to think this would be easy.
that is next to the guy that needs me.
TO whom should I choose to pray for at night
for me this,this isnt right.
As they hate each other now.
I cant be with them both so I sink into the crowd.
My mascara drips from my chin
along with all the love that might have been.
I dont believe in love this young I had said.
You didnt listen I think of him as I lie in my  bed.
friendship had blurred the line.
My heart is mine.