A burst of red blooming from thorny stem,
Loveliness is captured and barricaded by the rose
Carrying its weight proudly in the first fall frost
But with the onset of winter’s bitter caress
Bleeds red petals on unmarked, innocent snow
He loves me, loves me not, he loves me—
But how can he, when battle, blood, barbed
wire tear away his breath
And stain the white roses red
A flush of crimson across my cheeks,
Heartache and felicity throb between my ribs
In the ebb and flow of the summer months
Autumn dresses him in army green
And by winter he and our last summer rose
are but fallen petals on snow
Author notes
constructive criticism is awesome
A contest entry
- Anything and everything by bunnyslasher157.
900 points, ended November 11, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Beautiful
Okay. It's a classic. I have to agree on that. I really like "wire tear away his breath
And stain the white roses red" It's unique. I like the unique things. Remember that.
Good luck and keep writing!!
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Good
Classic imagery of blood on snow, you articulate your ideas well your writing indicates that you are well read because your vocabulary is very strong. passionate and well delivered.
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wow. It's been awhile on allpoetry since I've read a complete strangers poetry and been breathless. How very beautifully tragic, sweety. I'm loving how you repeated the colors of red and white, even if some may consider it cliche. I think you dodged that bullet nicely. Beautiful write, sweety.
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