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Hope

I'm hearing little melodies
that dream of being symphonies
As earnestly they squeek away
Dragging through for a better day
Infant sparrows flapping wings
Staring at great flying things
Aeroplanes
But they'll never fly so high
I know that I live a lie
I'm silly, ugly, far too shy
I might as well not even try
But better that than to fester, die
So let me have my melodies
My flapping wings, my silly dreams
Because, you really must now see,
That they're all I have

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • longte
    November 3

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    Sometimes the simplest things are the best ones
    If we didnt have silly dreams life would be pretty boring
    Nicely put together

  • wow the ending is like Bang on,it was a really enjoyable read, i think thats the case with a lot of us( at least with me), looking forward to a better tomorrow is all that keeps us together,kudos

  • Outstanding

    So let me have my melodies
    My flapping wings, my silly dreams
    I liked the way you explored your thoughts in this poem - the above lines I felt represented freedom and the light at the end of the tunnel. I think we all need to nurture our hopes and dreams as they drive us forward when things get tough. To improve this poem I'd suggest changing the last line to They're all that I have left to me. Ths would strengthen the rhyme in the poem and end it on a stronger note. Thank you for posting.


  • All I Love
    October 16

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    I really like this. It's sort of tragic and optimistic at the same time. It's much like how hope is to us all; the way it drags you flying out of despair. Well done

  • whoa o.o this is kelly lol. im on bris thingy. this was rlly good O.O

  • I loved it it was sooo good. Your a relly good writer.

1 - 6 of 6