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October Rain





life sounds like
the shorthand of emotion
and sometimes
in a different breath
the loneliness of it
writes upon my soul ~

and I can only
bid farewell to rainbow leaves
and a voice I once knew so well...


Author notes

Prompt:

"and I sing only half notes, never whole"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • crivanea silver member
    October 24

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    omg!! i love this one i admit the first stanza gotta catch me by surprise..i love the "choppiness" of it...but at the same time..i thought it could have been expanded a little more..on the other hand..i adore the ending..just breathtaking


  • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
    October 9

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    Beautiful and introspective, lonely perhaps but able to move forward. I love your transition in the first stanza "in a different breath" it is so like life to change from moment to moment and we are left with different responses to the same situations.

    excelent
    ken


  • pre... gold member
    October 9

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    a snippet of wanting to keep steppin

    your opening is very poignant, as "the shorthand of emotion" is representative of the compromises our expressions might go through to keep up. and then with it at title's trail it seems like there's missing an elaborated delight the way one regrets when summer is over more than memos to take notice

    also from a fast season by us similar to a storm in lens of the busy maybe, that wistful quiet to "bid farewell to rainbow leaves" of afterwards isn't saying the noting that could've greeted more (formal before than oh well) perhaps

    contemplativeness,
    carolyn



  • Elfin
    October 9

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    Beautiful words you have penned here. Well done and good luck in the contest. Val


  • Malabu
    October 9

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    the beauty of fallen leaves are rainbows never traveled...and with a breath of october wind in your face
    you become dormant like the flowers of spring
    waiting for life to come alive
    so be my thoughts to your expressed pen
    mal

  • Muffliato
    October 9

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely poem! The hint of sadness yet hope is very catching, while the final three lines flow together in perfect harmony. I love the image of "the shorthand of emotion"- it is just a great small twist and a quirky use of language!

1 - 6 of 6