My dreams are haunted still. My vision's blurred
Except my clean and focused rearview mirr'.
Gazillions take my side: the teen had erred
Grotesquely validating what I fear.
In retrospect, there wasn't much to do.
No damage done could not have damaged most.
Go figure! Who was once an ingenue
Abruptly changed herself into a ghost.
Unlike a door that's coming off its hinge,
The splintered surface sounded no alarms.
How could her frame, a gaunt and cold syringe,
Ignite me when I held it in my arms?
Egregious sins that wear the mantle 'friend'
Resolve by day; by night, they know no end.
Author notes
Acrostic sonnets make me write words like 'gazillions'.
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Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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"This story is old, yet it goes on..."
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This is such a sad and beautiful poem! I enjoyed it very much and I really like your style of writing here, short, a bit cryptic, full of wonder but straight to the point all at the same. Its full of emotion and kept me the whole way through. Thank you for sharing with us!
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The diction is off kilter and almost unique (which isn't bad, it's actually mysterious, which is good). The narrative movement is shadowy and hard to follow, which I honestly prefer in a poem, you know, putting a little effort into rreading something instead of being given all the answers.
Overall I think this is a very good poem that avoids the overstructured stereotyping accorded to other works with such rigid syllabic structure by way of diction...yes, that mysterious diction.
IC C
terribly mysterious. -
very well written
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Wow this is really great work, i enjoyed it very much. Keep on writing
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This is a stunning lil write, that I quite enjoyed.
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very well penned... it's amazing how with poetry we can so eloquently write about such ugly things isn't it?
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This is amazing. I am so proud of this. it s so amazing.
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