More than half a bottle in, he shifts
looks up and notes the body beside him
"It weren't destiny that brought me
to this end" he says as he hunches
over drink again. And I, I am at once taken-in;
primed for the story that need follow.
Pause, and the surroundings assail in sharp relief:
The splintered bar rubbed raw, the split stools
and the fogged mirror. But oh, the spirits...
An assembly of alcohol Xanadu
placed upon pedestals and consumed
with offerings...
He speaks again
"T'were a woman what sat me here.
I am too simple to relate her scent
or the satin of her hair. But her kiss...
Twas a blossom that ne'er before bared its hue.
And I was intoxicated, new~bent.
Crawled into her temple and sprawled;
boasting to heaven, earth and all inbetween
of the pleasures {sacred} gifted to me."
Here, he stops for a long, hard swallow
while I can't help to note the shake in grip,
the shudder in relating such a memory.
And I am eager to conceive...
Of pain and sorrow and ego staked low;
so my ears prick and my tongue licks
and the sodden soul tells some more.
"I called her Pre-Dawn~ Fingernail Moon
and held-on with rapture, with cock's crow.
To a ripening of hazy dream; to a symphony
of tight-drawn string. But the music broke.
I sing every step and weep each time I do it.
Betray my croon with a sorrow that drowns.
And I tell you now as Cabernet swims
through these veins riddled with regret...
All blues beckon, then beget poison as they go down;
so, my son, keep your lips upon the red.
Author notes
Prompt: All Blues
Image Credit: "No Sky~The Pallor Painted Eyes" by Estrella Felina
A contest entry
- Jazzcat's Miles Davis Tribute by jazzcat.
2500 points, ended October 12, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I love the interchange within this, the dialogue makes it real. Just to listen and observe, you have put the reader in your seat. The observance is astute, as we listen to his story and the profound effect that one kiss from a woman who has no physical description has had on this poor fellow lost in intoxication. An edgy write, I like this.
-
"...held-on with rapture, with cock's crow.
To a ripening of hazy dream; to a symphony
of tight-drawn string. But the music broke..."
oh yeah.. you dug deep into All Blues for this one...Jazz Cat said it best when he noted:
"... evokes such strong, raw emotions -- the reader is left feeling bruised, but not beaten..."
you went deep, Blue.... I've been in bars like you describe... back in the day of chanteuse threads and summer night sweat...
excellent...
-
Splendid, moody feel, that invites us in, but keeps us at arms length. I love the story that is told in here and how it evokes such strong, raw emotions -- the reader is left feeling bruised, but not beaten.
You do a great job of setting the scene with the first two stanzas and it made me feel like I was in a dark movie, watching as everything evolves slowly, as more light comes in. You cover the details so well that we can't help but see and feel it all.
The finishing stanza really nails the piece for us. Great job.
Thanks for entering the contest
Adding your comment:
