Big Bible Tits In
Red Poppy Sundae School Dress...
Fucking On Those Pews.
Cumming To Church Has
Never Been So Easy
Let's Pray Together.
Author notes
I AM A PORN STAR
Written April 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Hot Hot Hot! I Want Hot! by wellnow1313.
350 points, ended May 30, 2004, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I HATED IT
Such a crude snese of humor, horus8. I HATED THIS POEM. The idea of having sex in a CHURCH was TERRIBLE in my opinion. That is a disgrace to my GOD. -
AMEN! What time we leave? LOL Damn you had to put that picture on there huh? You know I am really not a fan of Haiku but I have to say this is good. Excellently written! Thx for entering! Good Luck ..............Sheila
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Specific and terrific
You take on a tight construction with picaresque delight. At once sensual and outrageously funny like Thompson or Miller. Bravo! -
Calm down Vicar
I do know the form can be different than 575, this is why I used the word "traditional" in my previous comment.
The shock I somehow didn't think you were going for on purpose, but then again, what would I know? I'm just a naive sixteen year old.
Lynn xXx
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If you knew anything about haikus, then you'd know that there are many ways to do them one of which being less syllables than the 17 standard, another being the ability to move the 575 to say a 656, or what have you. As for me being a shocky person out to shock people with my shock poetry, the answer there would be hardly.
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LOL, that is all I can say.
Lady Raven -
lmao.... I don't know which is funnier....the thought of sex in church or the comments about sex in church...either way.
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Even on day 2
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you are a riot
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Well these took me by surprise, but they are very well written. Although I do believe if you actually have sex at church, you are probably heading south after death (unless of course, you're atheist..but if you were then you wouldn't be at church)..... Great haikus though, you did a wonderful job.
take care
~whisper -
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oh and good photo.
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woe is me, woe is the sad state of poetry. PFFFFF. LOL. How dare anyone have fun with their writing.
funny. i can't wait to read the comments posted here. -
Actually, they are more Senryuish, but border on hybrid, and no I'm anything but a traditionalist, although I am proficient at all styles of poetry including vilanelles, sestinas, sonnets and many others. This is actually something I wrote to cheer up my music manager, so thank you for your comment.
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that's kindof sinful. o man. that was. but it showed..a love of sex. i don't think that was good to place in a church, but it was a good piece.
God Bless,
/Meg -
Erm...
I don't know if you were trying to fit the traditional structure of a haiku, but if you were the second line in the second haiku is six syllables rather than seven.
I agree with LGAlexander, do you by chance like to use shock in your poems to increase the effect on the reader? It seems like it.
Lynna xXx
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horus8 obviously really enjoys church, but I fear it is for the wrong reasons. Please, if you know anyone like horus8 who has been sexually abused by his priest, please contact the authorities. PLEASE!!
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what can I say?
I get the feeling you like to shock. Well, it did take my breath away for a moment. If that is your goal, you succeed. Surely, poetry must mean more than this, but maybe this is a new wave although I really hope it is not.
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