i. the age when i learned to capitalize (date unknown)
dear i
how often have i
been mistaken for informality
when i crave mere
simplicity?
(must i confine myself to two bars
when a point
is easier to convey?)
do circles mean less
than lines and is rigidness
not just a boundary between
i you us?
ii. the age when i learned to use commas (date unknown)
dear i,
must a poem,
not be too long,
nor too short,
but instead,
be timed just right,
withdrawnoutpauses?
surely a single breath
can recite a few lines
without the need of
half a semicolon?
iii. the age when i learned to go without paraphrases (date unknown)
(dear i)
(often some words are
not really needed)
a poet feels
every word is significant
(for who knows
when a reader might
misunderstands)
and finds a line
lacking
(and often undeveloped)
if not enough words
are used
iv. the age when i learned to make sense (date unknown)
dear i?
wh
o
says;
po,
e,
try
(m
us
t)
ma
ke
s
en
se?
v. the age when i became who i am (1894-1962)
dear me
my heart never becomes sad, when i
am in the presence of you; in your gestures
when you hold love (and my hands)
my life opens where once it was closed
winter smiles cheerfully lovingly
as spring touches snow shyly happily
(color shields away darkness
presenting life with only rainbows)
i do not understand where you
are taking me, but suddenly this road
becomes more bearable (and now
i smell roses even in the rain)
Author notes
http://oldpoetry.com/oauthor/show/e_e_cummings
Criteria:
minimum of 5 vignettes; with each vignette must belonging to a certain age, going in ascending order ; each vignette must contain a minimum of 10 lines
References:
title: http://www.gvsu.edu/english/cummings/caps.htm
vignette i: "I am a small eye poet" - ee cummings
vignette ii: http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/8011-e-e-cummings-next-to-of-course-god-america-i
vignette iii: http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/8764-e-e-cummings-may-i-feel-said-he
vignette iv: http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/12407-e-e-cummings--blac
vignette v: http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/6299-e-e-cummings-somewhere-i-have-never-travelled
A contest entry
- The Ultimate La-La Challenge: Round 7 by Laura Lamarca.
800 points, ended October 19, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Suggestions?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Hrm. My my. So many critiques of this poem. At face value, without grading it, I loved it. Thank you for entering and best of luck in the contest!
Tigger -
I love the tendency toward the abstract in describing the use of punctuation here. It is sincere, slightly comical, and the narration pulls this reader along right to the end gladly.
-
to i: E. E. C's
First impression: 10/10
Achievement of "old poet's" voice: 10/10
Creativity with prompt: 10/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 10/10
Flow: 10/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 9/10
Poet's personal effort: 10/10
Poem's "profound" effect: 9/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Last impression: 9/10
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 5/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Total score: 112/115
I loved this the first time and I still do.
Nice work. ~Pamela 
-
to i: E. E. C's:
First impression: 9/10
Achievement of "old poet's" voice: 10/10
Creativity with prompt: 10/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 9/10
Flow: 9/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 10/10
Poet's personal effort: 9/10
Poem's "profound" effect: 9/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Last impression: 9/10
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 5/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Total score: 109/115
~Hettie
-
to i: E. E. C's:
First impression: 9/10
Achievement of "old poet's" voice: 10/10
Creativity with prompt: 10/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 9/10
Flow: 8/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 10/10
Poet's personal effort: 10/10
Poem's "profound" effect: 9/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Last impression: 9/10
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 5/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Total score: 109/115
laura.
-
Very interestingly done, I'm not sure I have ever read any of E.E. Cummings works, I think I'll have to go have a look after this is all over, since I can't punctuate for crap myself.
Best of luck... Scott
-
I really enjoyed this clever look at cumming's style. Your formatting and monologue ask relevant questions and illuminate the reasons for his actions - simplicity and the desire not to conform. Peace, Liz
-
I saw this contest. I saw it because a friend of mine is in it other than you.
And I must say you took this somewhere perfectly.
I loved it. Bravo.
-
e e cummings never did follow the rules of punctuation and formatting ...
by omitting your closing, of sincerely, ee cummings, or me, or whomever, you draw attention to this fact.
I wouldn't change a thing. Not one thing. ~Pamela
-
This is unique.
-
Well written, well formatted, and very interesting. Your vignette titles were unique and added impact.
-
Oh, my dear-- you have done a fabulous job here!!! I love this!
Excellent, not much more I can say
Best wishes,
Kris
-
Have I told you lately that you are amazing - well, if not, this is.
P.s You stole my poet.. argh!
*runs at you with knives*
Although, you did I better job than I could have but I think I could have done something better with him not my poet. Hehe.
-
'And now I smell roses even in the rain'what a beautifully positive line of vibrant thought delights the senses.The poem is different and exquisitely carved.Yoour talent flows through this one like life breathe.Thanks for sharing...
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
