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In Ruin

[Can I do this anymore? I am afraid, among the many things, that I have lost my way...]

No metaphor, no blackened sky,
No rainy day, nor sorrow's sigh
Will ease this angst, this open wound.

Anger, saddness, and an ill will
Keeps me climbing this endless hill
For in these heighths, my heart lay strewn.

Like breath in the wind, I am gone;
Til a deep revealing  like dawn,
I shall lay on this ground in ruin.




honesty always appreciated

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • moluv10
    October 9

    Edit | Reply
    sad write. i feel your hevy heart through your words. keep your head up and keep penning your thoughts hun...


    • Rianna Bear
      October 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, mo. A heavy heart truly sums this one, hmm? Thanks for reading and sharing a comment!


  • pre... gold member
    October 8
    Edit | Reply

    detecting not the act that counts

    very well said fluidly of futile feeling when not reinforcingly

    your immediate modulation with "no metaphor ... will ease this angst, this open wound" is as off brochure when depression even hits writer, not enjoying what you regularly had gone to as when fears can't be figured out. maybe bigger than this week etcetera for scabbing so to speak.

    thus the setting, of not coming down to that paper completely or settled advice perhaps but "For in these heighths, my heart lay strewn." and yet it doesn't seem like real life to not have a resolution maybe therefore "Like breath in the wind, I am gone;
    Til a deep revealing like dawn" is in third stanza to conglomerate what is grounded beyond need for going away to quitting but finding.

    one typo "hil" wasn't the focus,
    carolyn


    • Rianna Bear
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      i think i had to re-read your response here several times, and I'm still not sure if I understand what you're saying, lol. Not to offend, I'm just lost in your complex way of communicating. Maybe i'm too simple.

      But, thank you for taking the time to read.

      • pre... gold member
        October 9

        Edit | Reply

        stop sign smile didn't need to be used to bring me back lol

        I suppose the content was so close to what could be mine I pushed away with distant terminology, but I saw sadness that was feeling need for more than their own insight

        again, nice reflections,
        carolyn

  • Montey
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    There was a period in my life when I felt like this.You have used words to describe feelings so well.This poem says everything I couldnt and I think many people could identify with this.Montey


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    October 8
    Edit | Reply
    Such sad words you've written here!

    Just know that in time a new road will appear.
    To guide you to a better place so far away from here.

    All of the madness,insensitivity, and despair,
    in time will vanish leaving you with a fresh breath of air.

    Hold on tightly to every last bit of hope inside.
    keep moving forward and set your worries aside.

    The sun will shine again for you tomorrow my friend,
    so tell yourself that this is not the end.

    Believe in yourself and stay inspired with every thought within,
    rest assured that in the morning you'll have a chance to try again!


    Jeremy

1 - 9 of 9