Confession

I have this confession to make
But,
You cant tell anyone
You see
Im not really in love with Nick Carter from the backstreet boys
Or Justin Timberlake from NSync
Nor Orlando Bloom from lord of the rings
And believe it or not
Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow
Really sinks my battle ships
And Rick martins butt isnt as calinte
As Ive always said it was
Also,
Diddy doesnt really do it for me
Or 50 cent, even if he IS bullet proof
What about the crushes I had at school?
They were all made up
I dont like any of the guys that I told you I did
Not even the new guy with the really cool hair
Even when he gels it up
I dont go to girl scout camp because I like tying knots
And eating cookies all day long
Even if they ARE thin mints
And I dont look at models and celebrities in magazines
Because I want to BE them
Its more like I want to be WITH them

My biggest confession of all is-
My best friend
Who is ALWYS with me
Isnt JUST my friend at all
Shes more like my
Girlfriend
And me?
Im a
Lesbian

I have a confession to make-
I have a hard time telling people that
I know it seems pathetic and stupid but-
I cant casually say that
..
It just doesnt come out rightyet
NOT because it isnt me,
Because BELIEVE me,
It is

Its because of the
FEARS I have.
FEAR that Ill be the FAGGOT before a FRIEND
FEAR that I cant be GORGEOUS and GAY at the same time
FEAR that I wont be LOVED because Im a LESBAIN
And I know its okay for now that I dont tell anyone but
It gets hard.

My girlfriend is completely out of the closet
Everywhere-but school
She says in the closet there just for me
She says that
"Even though a closet may hide our love, it will never contain it.
"Which is nice and everything but,
Who wants to be trapped in a closet?
I mean, cmon
Theyre DARK, COLD, BLEAK, LONELY, CRAMPED places
If I was literally trapped in a closet,
Id be dying to get out

And even though Im not literally trapped in one
I am
And Im SCREAMING in the inside to get out
I want to open the door and just be FREE
But you see,
The difference between being trapped in a cage and a closet is that
Someone else puts you in a cage and you're stuck there
You put yourself in a closet
And all you have to do to be free
Is get the courage to grab the handle and
TURN

I have a confession
The thought of turning that handle
Terrifies me
Because,
I dont feel like becoming the next
VICTIM of a hate crime
Or being told that Im just a CONFUSED
Little girl going through a PHASE
I dont want to be the girl that
No one feels comfortable approaching because of her
LIFESTYLE
To talk down a street and feel like
Jim Crows back! Rainbow edition!
And I dont want to be told that GOD doesnt love me
And that Im going to hell because I love a woman

I have another confession
I want a wedding
I want a wedding that's so bling bling that
Ill make Mike Jones' grill look like cheap foil
With a dress so stunning
They'll make a show about it on Bravo
And a wedding cake so extravagant
It'll make the food channel jealous
But most of all,
I want to walk down an aisle
And give my life, my love and myself
To a woman
Who means the world to me

And you know how people in movies and songs say
Baby, if loving you is wrong then I dont wanna be right?
I feel that way sometimes
Although,
I dont think love is about bring right or wrong,
Legal-illegal,
Or about sin and righteousness

If you TRULY love someone
Youre going to love them no matter what
And thats the truth
Because,
Love isnt blind
Its far from it
LOVE can see and understand far more
Then we can comprehend
So go with it
TRUST

And I dont care what anyone else says,
Before you judge me
CHECK YOURSELF
Because we all can use a
Self-evaluation
REMEMBER,
When we were younger
We were taught to LOVE
LOVE despite our difference
To EMBRACE our diversity
-In all categories-
Maybe we should go back to some
Old school principles

So tell me,
Can you love a little more?
Can you reach out a helping hand
To the people are you who need somebody?
And can you give a stranger the same respect
That you show yourself?
I think we all can
I know thats what Im trying to do
Love does not deserve to be
Shoved into some pathetic, dusty closet
Like something to be ashamed of
Love is not something that
Someone else has the right
To define for me

Love is what you make it
We ALL have to discover love or ourselves
And I have found it
In HER
The type of love most people only dream about
And nothing anyone else says, or does
Will change that

I have a confession to make
Im in love with a woman
Im a lesbian and
Im proud.