sleep your way to
a dusty hiding place
graybreathed and bomb-stricken
its sky makes a twisted face
in memorial of stolen hearts
waiting for the brave adventurers
(those who dare be)
to return and share their stories of a world
beating with liveliness
ignoring the beaten
"where've you been?"
somewhere brighter, somewhere red
but this is the place i know best
old friends whose arms crumble
in an effort to shake my hand
and since i don't know
which world is rightful,
i will wallow here
staring at the dead ground
until someone offers me a ticket out
"will it be a paper ticket?"
no, not that thin
an impressive ticket would be a hug
and those three favorite words that
nobody believes they deserve, even though
it's what you need in order to survive
"how are you today?"
my blood's escaping down the city drains
i can't bother with the chore of replenishing
even though it is suggested
i was also trained to punish those who do wrong
especially myself
"what horrible crime have you committed?"
overreaction to a simple event
failing to remember that events are meant to happen
not to control me
i am not this
this is not my home
i have good news
"what's that?"
i'm getting better at
not falling into the trap of
this bad habit, this
running away into the lockbox of my mind
i am going to be compassionate to myself
"how do you do that?"
the next time i slip and fall
the next time i feel like i don't deserve to laugh again
i will not expect anyone else to hold and comfort me
i will be the one to say, "there there."
when nobody else loves me, i will not feel like dying
i will live to love myself
farewell.
"don't worry, you'll be back."
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