waylaid by perfection's flaw by Nom de Plume at All poetry

welcome to the wisdom of my wrong's sorrow
where thoughts collude to mourn tomorrow-
without you here this art is hollow
we swallowed songs...and serenades did follow;

with hindsight's wreath and withered brow
wounds did wail as death would vow--
war was waged and blemished anew
while words misfired and weapons flew;

weeks dressed absence as months did harrow
weakened I bled, from bone to marrow-

would weight of time on me bestow,
whispers of a woman I once did know...

Author notes

Group Contest: Inspiring Games

Write a 12 line poem, 3 stanzas of four lines each. Any subject or tone, no prompt whatsoever.The beginning letter and the ending letter of each line must be the same letter throughout. Pick your letter, I don’t care.

In a list

Personal Faves ::♥ • next in list

does it hurt to leave a comment?

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
wbiro
October 19

Edit | Reply

ah, a sad piece... why do the 'w' words contribute to that so well? Now there's a thought, which is the 'saddest' letter... so I see a loved one lost to war, and the woman is now but a shadow... so a political piece... but no...! the loved one was lost to argument... that was the 'war'... for the 'words misfired'... ah, I really died (in empathy) with the piece in the 'weeks and months passing' passage...
janeofdreams
October 19

Edit | Reply

This poem is pretty amazing in how you managed rhyming and following the prompt with what I would consider a difficult letter: "w". However you weaved it so well that any difficulty went unnoticed. I really liked your first line, "welcome to the wisdom of my wrong's sorrow", it captivated me and made me want to read on with great interest. This line is beautiful, "we swallowed songs...and serenades did follow", it's the kind of line I will remember and think about for a long time.
Camille Morin
October 19

Edit | Reply

What a broken heart is shown to all in this excellent piece. I especially love your second stanza. The final line is full of sorrow and regret. I love this poem.

Sincerely,
Camille Morin
SteveS
October 18

Edit | Reply

Wow, I see you had gone the extra mile with internal rhyme and the use of the "w" sound within the lines as well. The flow of this write is fantastic. This is an example of how to design tempo with proper placement of one-syllable words with polysyllabic words. Within the confines of this challenge you have led your readers seamlessly through this emotive story. A classic example of what could be expected given the game guidelines. Thank you for this entry.
Desire
October 17

Edit | Reply

Wow~
Gosh I wonder if You have done this before
Hmmmmm~ Geesh You make this look so darn
easy I might as well have asked You to write
mine

Dang it just flows off the tongue~~~
I had to find my verse after bumping into a
few stationary mortar soldiers
so when are You teaching classes again
Excellente my Friend!!

Keep that quill dancing
Thank You for sharing Your Voice ~ Smooth Operator
Best wishes in the Challenge~
with love & light~ Desire~*~
just2write
October 17

Edit | Reply

"W" Wow.
You did a great job with this contest. Great content, and with a W, no less. I thought T and S were hard. Not only did you use a more challenging letter, you wrote a great poem with it. Marvellous. Rose.
hezakiah
October 13

Edit | Reply

Beautiful poem. Or I guess I should say wonderful. Weighty with wonder! I like

"war was waged" and "while words misfired"

Wonderful vocabulary --- I like when I have to look up words (in this case harrow).
sillysmile
October 11

Edit | Reply

nice work :)
endings like this are never easy, and i feel your grief and lonliness through the poetry
Wickedruby1
October 11

Edit | Reply

Very Good
Nice form and poem laminting the love of your life and the loss of her for what ever reason,very touching.
Gildae
October 11

Edit | Reply

Wow.... usually when someone tries deliberately to rhyme like that they make a mess but you did a remarkable job! good flow, really good vocabulary (though I suspect you looked up words that ended with 'w' to get harrow)... Keep up the good work!
individuality
October 11

Edit | Reply

we swallowed songs - i tuned into this line while i was here i am forever swallowing songs... and now i am awake again i will throw the dvd on love is music by nick haper.
Swangrnv
October 10
Edit | Reply

outstanding
excellent rhyme and flow, and form
PastelMoons
October 10

Edit | Reply

You write of sorrow with such pretty words...

'...war was waged and blemished anew
while words misfired....'

You are so very clever.

Thank you for sharing.

Always a pleasure...

~Pastel
Rend the Veil
October 8

Edit | Reply

I knew this type of thing was up your alley
and to pull it off so smoothly my friend
just brillant cheers !!

blessings and Love

Rend
Manda Kathryn
October 8

Edit | Reply

wow.wow.wow.wow.
how much am I loving the alliteration in this piece right now!
and the rhyming; ... just ... wow!
sideways hourglass
October 8

Edit | Reply

I don't know the hell you did this, but I love it.
S D McDaniel
October 8

Edit | Reply

wow! I really like this. Not only did you follow the rule set down for this challenge, you also made it rhyme... and I thought I was the only one that liked to challenge myself!

Again, you show your intelligence with the extended vocabulary, I like the rhyme. Your images of someone battling with themself, and making the connection of the inner struggle of the self, with the outward struggle with mankind is fantastic. At least that's the way I interpreted this piece. It's all there... the struggle with the self, the struggle with love, and the struggle with peace toward our fellow man... and how all of these struggles are never ending, and sometimes failing... I like it!