On all Hallows Eve, the spirits of the dead all roamed free
an enchanted town by day, with a stench of death at night.
Appearing before many folks eyes, flies a horseman riding by
seen only in the dark of night, the headless man does ride.
Once a Hessian trooper, now an apparition upon horseback
rumored a cannonball took his head during war he fought
a nameless trooper, just one of the many that filled this night
searching the valleys and roads while riding on winged flight.
Tho' no wind was blowing, the horseman would always fly
his path familiar, no greater distance would he ever travel
searching for his head that was lost, he faithfully did roam
without finding his head, he'd never be freed to go home.
He always rides forth toward the scene of his last battle
rushing quickly by, he would sometimes pass the Hollow
he must hurry to find his head as a promise he did make
as his beloved awaits; he must return before break of day!
Author notes
Option One: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
The story can be found here TheLegend of Sleepy Hollow
the ghost rides forth to the scene of battle in nightly quest of his head, and that the rushing speed with which he sometimes passes along the Hollow, like a midnight blast, is owing to his being belated, and in a hurry to get back to the churchyard before daybreak.
Freeverse, no more than 30 lines, no less than 10
*****Tho this appears to be finished, I may still edit it till the day the contest closes. Any suggestions appreciated.
A contest entry
- Allpoetry's Halloween Bash 2009 - Win a Gold Membership by Little Eagle.
9000 points, ended November 30, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Thank you for your entry
I like that you captured the spirit of the story but gave your poem its own voice within that story. The flow was a little off because of incomplete sentence structure. I think you sacrificed complete sentences/thoughts for formatting. Please see my rubric below for further details.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
TammyCriteria
20-18
Exceptional
17-14
Innovative
13-10
Commendable
9-6
Competent
5-1
Emerging
Score
Prompt Development
Expresses and develops meaningful and original perspective on prompt
Expressive and developed treatment of the prompt
Adequate focus and development
Some focus on prompt but lacks development
Unfocused and unclear
20
Organization
Form of poem appropriately and powerfully addresses the subject , each line focuses on prompt
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form is poorly constructed, focus is not maintained throughout
18
Poetic Language & Imagery
Sensory details and figurative language create vivid images that contribute significantly to the meaning of the poem; sound devices such as rhyme, alliteration, or onomatopoeia are used effectively to contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative languages and sound devices contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative language and sound devices may be overused, underused or inappropriate to the topic
Confusing or inappropriate use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
No use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
18
Use of Language
Word choice is vivid and exact throughout; grammar, mechanics and usage are correct, enhancing the thoughts and images
Precise word choice; no error in grammar, spelling and mechanics
Word choice occasionally vague, repetitive or imprecise; few errors in grammar, mechanics or usage
Word choices tend to be vague, repetitive or imprecise;
Consistently difficult to understand due to errors in grammar, mechanics and usage
14
Overall Impact
Poem captivates and inspires reader; is an excellent representation of the prompt/form
Poem attracts reader’s attention; is a good representation of the prompt/form
Poem is adequate and provides a reasonable representation of the prompt/form
Poem lacks inspiration
Poem fails to inspire
18
Total
88/100
Averaged scores
Three judges averaged score.
93/100
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Thank You for Your Entry ~
I quite like the Legend of Sleepy Hollow so rather enjoy this piece for the fresh take on it. Excellent vocabulary, and imagery
Prompt Development = 19/20
Organization = 18/20
Poetic Language & Imagery = 20/20
Use of Language = 20/20
Overall Impact = 18/20
Total = 95/100
Best of Luck
Stay safe
Manda
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Thank you for your entry
I love your tale. You refresh what we've read before, the tale that we know with your own spin. The word choice is brilliant, very powerful and quite effective. This was almost foreboding, and made my breath catch in my throat.
In your author's notes please include the passage that you chose
Prompt Development = 19/20
Organization = 18/20
Poetic Language & Imagery = 20/20
Use of Language = 20/20
Overall Impact = 18/20
Total = 95/100
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Shari
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And He Rides on...where is Ichabod? Wouldn't have wanted to be in his shoes...I love this story, especially when Johnny Depp acted in the modern one. What a perfect legendary story to write about, flowed and kept us in fokelore and focus as the reader. Excellent. Blessings.
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loved the film, i love your take on the tale
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