To M.A.N, the medicine.

My heart is so far from its medicine
It resides on the other side
I met it more than a year ago
And latched on since the moment I’d tried
“This drug will fill up your emptiness,
repair your sadness,” said my mind.
“You will reach your revelation and
It will surely change your life.”

One pill a week was all it was
One dose, one serving, one drop of love
Will keep you well for the week.

My mind hadn’t warned of the toxins
The ingredients of the drug
The addicting traits I yearned for
That would beg and plead and tug.
Intelligence, integrity, empathy
Talent, charm. creativity
Humor, soul, and honesty
And of course, a dash of beauty.

Then
One pill a day was all it was
One dose, one serving, one drop of love
Will keep you for the day

The toxins grew stronger and talked longer
They changed me with speed as my mind guaranteed
The spoke every word, they had helped rest assured
When they gave the disease I accepted with ease

Every pulsing rewrite
Every couple in sight
Every hour of the night-
Lit up with the drug’s light.

Until
One pill an hour was all it was
One dose, one serving, one drop of love
Will keep you well for the hour

I realized this drug was no option
Its necessity had come soon
I stayed up in need of healing
Insomnia was life’s new tune
I was aware of the need for the medicine
And I knew that I was addicted
So we had to part temporarily
Until my love for it was evicted
Over time it seemed to fade but
Over thoughts it seemed to stay
After months we would reunite
And go back to the same old way…

One pill a minute was all it was
One dose, one serving, one drop of love
Will keep you well for the minute

My emptiness filled and my sadness repaired
My mind had told right ; my revelation stared
But this person I was depended on the pill
Hold fast to the relics, hold fast to free will
Will I ever get better? My heart seemed to wonder
You will keep getting better as the drug pulls you under.

One pill a second was all it was
One dose, one serving, one drop of love
Will keep you well for the second.

1…2…3…4 Me and the drug in our one second war.

Until the seconds
Turned to nothing.

And the medicine ran to the next hemisphere
After I’d loved it for more than a year
Remembering that this was meant to be
I had met it to lose it, for it to lose me
To move on from its hold
To realize it’s too old
And to miss it until my heart became cold.

My heart is so far from its medicine

“Will it return?” My mind’s thoughts pend
My heart replies, “This may be the end.”
I must learn to live without the pill
And keep my heart beating, subtle and still
But it beats so much slower, wondering where is the drug?
Where are the toxins that beg plead and tug?
Where are the remnants my mind guaranteed?
Where’s the prescription I know that I need?

The remedy resides on the other side
It’s been planning to go since the moment I tried
And so my dying heart speaks up inside…

No. Never will I depend on love to keep me alive.