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What You Leave Me With

This is my fine, bone white china

with dainty pink flowers

rimmed in platinum.

 

My shiny silver platter

polished to a perfect glass sheen -

a cruel mirror of my reflection.

 

My two-karat Princess cut diamond

with sharp, cutting edges

in a too-weak setting.

 

This is my inheritance:

more than jewels or gold,

more than wealth or pride

 

Aside from the tangible or concrete,

your only surviving legacy

is the madness that thrives deep within me.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

About the hereditary nature of Bipolar disorder. In my family, madness is part of your inheritance. OCD, Alcoholism, Depression, Suicide... I was given Bipolar Disorder. Fun stuff... really.

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

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Comments

1 - 36 of 36
  • bballer21
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    wow, you are an extremely talented poet. you are so honest with yourself and the rest of the world. i loved it. its filled with soo much emotion! keep up on the good work and keep writing! your veryy good at it!

  • pkoirish
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    beautifully sad

    you have penned a beautiful piece here..

    This is my fine, bone white china

    with dainty pink flowers

    rimmed in platinum.



    My shiny silver platter

    polished to a perfect glass sheen -

    a cruel mirror of my reflection.

    Loved the imagery and feeling here in these two stanza's


  • lindaburns gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    I have seen situations where people had nothing good to say about their ancestors and yet gave no thought to how much is passed on.  I have looked around at times when I was speaking because what I was saying sounded so much like my mother was saying it. (Up from the grave, you know?) Let’s just hope that forewarned is forearmed. Good write.


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      October 26
      Edit | Reply
      Oh this is a very negative write, I suppose, but I'm not really that negative about my family. I'm very blessed to have my family. They are wonderful and I am everything I am because of them. I'm so lucky. And, yes, there are many other wonderful traits and things I have inherited (blue eyes, freckles, personality, empathy, intelligence, etc.)...

      When I wrote this, I had just found out I was bipolar (back in 2007). At that time I was really struggling with it, as it seemed to consume my life and everything I was. So this was born from that frustratin. I hesitated to share it for so long because I didn't want people to think that I wasn't appreciative of my wonderful family. But I think there are many people that are ... baffled... by the traits that are passed on from generation to generation in their families. My family has it all, quite literally. But that can be viewed from many angles.


  • myrataal silver member
    October 16

    Edit | Reply

    Magnificent!

    You write with the pen of passion and of wisdom and of experience -- what a good combination! I admire you for going through such trying times, and still going strong. I am sure you have many genes of mother and your grandfather. Most of us suffer ups and downs, but not all of us are able to endure and transcend like you do.

    All the best for you, AJB!

    Love
    Myra


  • ZachP silver member
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    I am sorry, and feel your pain.
    One of my worst fears is that I've adopted my parents's anger. But I keep trying to fight it every day.

    All pain aside, I must say that this is a brilliantly written poem.

    I wish you all the best, and will keep you in my prayers.

    Zach Estel.


  • Amera gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderfully written as far as the power is concerned. I read the notes and I feel your pain and I'm so sorry. You are in my prayers Sis, you deserve to be happy.

    Love,
    Amera


  • cubert
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    I'm of the opinion that if you get madness, you ought to get money, too lolol. Or at least not have to endure the judgement of the crazy people who gave you their fun stuff to begin with.....

    This is my ranting week on this topic, ain't it? I didn't know you had written this when I called you yesterday, so now I am mightily amused at the recurring theme thing. And I've already shared my upside opinion, so I am left with nothing to say lol!

    Well, you know, other than I love you and you're a flippin genius. Viva la madness!


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      October 12
      Edit | Reply
      I know ... isn't it ironic that we've been going back and forth about this for a few days and we've sort of already said it all? LOL

      I have been thinking a lot about our conversations. I have to call you this evening!

      Love ya girl! and thanks


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    how true this is...it might just be worse than the inheritance of a ton of debt lol

    this was truly excellent.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    This has elicited some awesome comments for a reason it is brilliant!!!


  • HereComesTheSun
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    this hit close to home
    with my mom going through med withdrawl
    and this just really wow.

    thank you for writing this :]
    thank you very very much

    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      oh and thanks for the comment!


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother. I know that's a difficult situation for all involved. Med withdrawals have historically been horrible for me.

      You're welcome. I try.

      I'm here if you need to talk, seriously. I get it. Take care of your mom and most importantly, YOURSELF!


  • EternitysLastWish
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    Hey gorgeous - brilliant as usual!
    I love the descriptions of the material items that are in your possession - how they have been given to you to keep, and as sentimentally valuable as they may be, they are nothing compared to the emotions you have to live with.
    I like the way your description of the ring may reflect how you feel inside, perhaps feeling sharp and edgy sometimes, with an unstable mind-set. (I know how that sounds, please don't think I'm making assumptions, but it's about how it can relate to others as well. I know it affects me that way sometimes) "in a too-weak setting" maybe there's a bit of word-play going on there as well - I really admire that.

    Brilliant language used, making even the items themselves seem tinged with darkness and/or unease, ''a cruel mirror of my reflection'', ''cutting edges''.

    A brilliant piece with an overwhelming affect.
    Keep up the fantastic work hun.

    Speak soon, lots of love
    Jess x


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      No, no offense taken at all! You're totally right in your analysis of the poem and my situation. I am unstable.

      Thanks so much for this great review. You're too sweet

      How are you, by the way? I've been meaning to send you a message and see how you were. I never see poetry by you on my new by favorites thing... but that could be because i have to many favorites and some write so much...


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    omg..how perfect is that! I got depression and anxiety....my family has the alcholism (my grandfather died from drinking cologne on his wedding day to his second wife b/c his brother hid his alcohol so he would be sober for his wedding day) my mom, my father, my brother, my aunts and all my uncles but 2 and my grandparents...all alcholics and most suffer depression and anxiety including panic attacks...thought that the gene missed me but silly me...its on both sides so now here I am.

    but how perfect is this poem. loved the ending...those last three lines are perfect. (I know I keep saying perfect) I wish I would have thought of them...lol. awesome stuff! Its good you realize its in the genes and hopefully you are getting help and don't drink!! please do not drink!! Im having a hard time, cuz we are at that age of going out and drinking and having fun and I have to have soda. I don't want to be an alcoholic on top of everything else. and I don't want you to either. tho, I started having a smoke once in a while. them dirty things..but I need it right now. especally at night.






    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      Hey Catie! I've been wondering how you were doing!
      I'm so sorry that you're not doing well. You know I am here for you any time. All though each person is unique and so is each depression or mental illness... I think, in a way at least, I can say I understand and have probably partially been there. So... I will gladly listen any time.

      I do not drink at all. I can't because I have kidney problems that I've had since I was a toddler (due to recurring infections). I have scarring on the lining. Alcohol irritates that and causes problems with infections, as well as pain. I also have never smoked or tried any drugs. I'm a very straight-laced, boring person in actuality. I just have these wild mood swings naturally and a dramatic personality. LOL.

      I have alcoholism on my Dad's side. Depression, anxiety, OCD, and Bipolar on my Mom's. My cousin got my grandmother's OCD/perfectionism. I got her Bipolar mood swings. My mother took after my grandfather more and is the "I can keep going no matter what" type.

      I don't mind being the one who doesn't drink. I have a good excuse, and people love hanging out wiht me because they have a permanent DD. I'm also very against driving drunk because i was almost killed by a drunk driver when I was 2.

      So..............

      yeah. I'm rambling.

      Thanks for the awesome comment. Glad to see you back around. I'm thinking about ya. I'm here for ya. Take care!


  • Learning2PaintYou
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely written. I enjoyed the read. It's abstract and I love that in poetry.


  • The Drifter
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    The intangible things last longer and mean more, some good and some bad, like memories and other things ever lasting.
    Your poem brings to light in a very personal way, highlites the darker aspect.
    Opening up your heart for all to see is a precious gift. Thank you so very much for sharing.


  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    Philosophical words from a brilliant poetess

    David


  • sweet arrival gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    the things passed down to us from our family in ways of material possessions will never have near the impact as what we receive through the gene pool. well done not only getting your point across, but doing it in such a creative, poetic way.

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