My love for you is never ending,
Like the eternal life of a vampire.
Yet, here you are forever sending,
Burning chills down my fragile spine.
My heart is what you're holding,
It's no longer in my chest, but in your hands.
Our families are still scolding,
Because we're from different backgrounds, hon.
You tend to make me mad,
But I can't stay mad at you.
Sometimes I feel very sad,
Cause you deserve much more.
For it's you I want to marry,
To have, and to hold.
And I want for you to carry
Me into our new, cozy home.
Does it make sense?
Comments
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Good job
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Aww thats so sweet. This is an excelent love poem. I know what its like to be...forbidden to be with the one you truly love and i know it sucks!!This is a great write! Keep up the good work. I hope to see a contest from you soon...i gave you some advice on the forum...well good luck with it all. :
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This is good. My pet! You're impressing me, You just need to write more dear. I know its hard when you play mommy all the time but every chance you get, try to write a little something and your talent will blossom. =]
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A very simple, but beautiful and tender poem, capturing one of the greatest truths about love. I would suggest employing more poetic devices; metaphor, imagery, etc. You have a good start, but you could take it SO much further.
However, all of that aside, this DOES get the point across, and is very touching, tender, and true.
Thanks for sharing, and welcome to AP.
Best wishes,
Zach.Estel
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