You asked me why I look so glum
Have another look, are you dumb?
Dressed in a hat and a stupid jacket
Feel like a toy wrapped in a packet
He looks lovely, all the owners agree
How in the hell do I scratch the fleas
Like a god damned pig i`m sweating here
I am quite a normal dog, I`m not a queer
A dog wearing a jacket isn`t quite right
And why in the hell do they make it so tight
Hurts my tummy and my groin is on fire
I bark, sounds like I belong in the choir
Neighbours dog is sexy and hard to beat
She is a poodle and the bitch is on heat
Teasing me by waving her bum in my face
But I`m in this harness, what a disgrace
I`ll chew this jacket off, help me I beg
Coz sweet poodle I want to throw the leg
Jacket will keep me warm, thats what I was told
Thats why I have hair stupid, I`m not bloody cold
Near impossible for me to take a piss
Fake aim at a tree but I always miss
Don`t laugh yet, something even more absurd
It is nigh on impossible for me to lay a turd
So now you know friend why I look so glum
Wish they`d ram this jacket up their bum
I`m no pansy but a dog who likes to take a shit
Stop, have a good whiff, then perhaps roll in it
Gonna get this coat off, jump the fence for sure
Find that horny little poodle and hopefully score
Author notes
A Dogs Life
A contest entry
- Who Is This Dog? by UnbreakableSoul.
500 points, ended October 10, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who Is This Dog?- Round # 2 (Invite Only) by UnbreakableSoul.
500 points, ended October 11, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
totally awesome. perfect style, flow, and so funny. i have a pug actually, although i only dress him if he is freezing his ass off, which isn't very often any more as he is a right little fatty hahaha this was fantastic. well penned xxx
-
-
Thank You
I guess having a pug made
the poem a better read for you
I believe thats how the dog would feel lol
-
-
awww wow great great great my friend Lucy (moaner on here) would soo love this... she has a pug.. Ive sent her your link to this poem huni hehe CUTE!!!!!!!!
xx DD
-
-
i get that hahaha xxx
-
Thanks
I hope she likes it too
-
-
Wow...very interesting, to say the least lol!
Thank you so much for your entry!
-
fine poem ! funny as always - I was going to enter here but you raised the bar too high my friend! love it
-
-
That is silly
You are good
have a go
Not everyone likes my poetry
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
