for kaitlynn.
your vagina is the dandelion
a young boy might gift his mother;
I am thankful for its intention
yet still
it remains a weed
in a garden full of flowers.
Author notes
brautigan inspired.
In a list
A contest entry
- Being Brautigan's Brain Again by Odds and Ends.
1100 points, ended November 9, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Wow, well, that was straight forward
Great write. -
Congratulations, Matt. Well done, Sweetie. 
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wow, hahaha, amazing humor poem! I am especially picky when it comes to humorous poetry as I believe it's hard to put the two together but you've definitely done it. this has it all: humor, imagery, wit, brevity. Amazing. I'm not saying that lightly.
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three of the five judges commented on how this was very Bukowski-esque.
i enjoyed it for that fact. thank you.
however, we all came to the conclusion that as brilliant as this was, it wasn't as close to brautigan as it was bukowski. there was a specific example given as the argument. "the Beautiful Poem" It was pointed out to me that whereas Brautigan referred to himself in a "bukowski-esque" (i think I'm going to coin that term), he referred to the women he soke of delicately. There were two other pieces that were pointed out to me.
i still love this piece though!
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Thank you. Brautigan does speak of women in that way which is why I used a 'flowery' metaphor.
You asked us to blend our style with his...and mine is very crass...had I wrote about women the way brautigan does I would not be staying true to myself... which is what I thought this contest was about
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Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark!
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Fucking perfect.
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witty and carrying a dose of hurt.
well done.
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bam!
[that is what it was like]
brilliant.punch in the face.excellent.
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Whoa.... that's caustic. Very spiteful piece. Unless I'm reading it wrong.
Love the imagery though. A Dandelion... a weed among flowers... uhhhuh. Also the child-like innocence of her offering such a gift to you - thinking she's giving you the best thing in the world when it's really just a weed. Interesting.
Brautigan? I'm not familliar with anyone by that name. Please enlighten me
Love your work as always - your brevity is brilliance. Succinct. Sharp. A dagger to the heart.
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richard brautigan...i think you'd like his poetry...it's succinct, sarcastic and usually carries a solid punch. & you read it correctly lol it was supposed to be very bitter.
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Ouch.
Yes crude, rude and totally Brautigan.
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you totally hit that. don't even lie.
(AHAHAHA)
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LMAO!!!
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once upon a time (but never again)
lol
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ice cold.
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isn't it cruel?
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Lmao.
Its the for kaitlynn.
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all I can do is smile. You are as clever as they come...and then some
Wonderful.
L
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and a mighty big garden it is... just sometimes difficult to smell the sweet tasting ones among the larger overbearing weeds that want to choke out the true flowers.
funny you should use dandelion, which means lions tooth, i think (or near that)... as if she caught your attention with her bite and attractively colorful petals, edible in all aspects... and used to make a wine quite intoxicating. only thing that seems wasn't used was her medicinal value to heal before she dispersed her fruit and you blew her away.
another short, punchy write that is so you... how can a garden filled with your readers not smile at this one?
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that has to be one of the coolest comments I've ever read on this site, girl!
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The sap in a dandelion is so sour...think you might have pulled a head off and tasted its bitterness with this one Nicely done C
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Damn, that's a scorcher, Scribe. Good luck in the contest.
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ouch. Though I do have a thing for dandelions, viscious little weeds.
Brautigan suits you, or he suits you, I should say.
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cruel and clever
and extremely creative
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Haha, this is sooooo smooth, like sandpaper
Reminds me of a story you once told me though it did not involve vaginas. Interesting metaphor What do the flowers in the garden translate to?
Yes, I do like this - for the sake of good poetry, lol.
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other vaginas of the world.
& what story is that?
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About the Dandelion and your Mum
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