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The Mask

The sun
shows it's ugly
face through the cracks
in my blinds,
almost as annoying
as the shrill
cry from the small
black box near my head.

I roll out
from under
the safety
of my covers,
a disturbing groan
escaping through my cracked
and bloody lips, anger
and disappointment
filling my room.

I sit on the edge
of my bed, preparing
for the day ahead.

Searching through the masks
I own, deciding how best
to fool the world today,
I arrive at a simple
smile, a happy look.

I clamp the mask
to my face, the real me
dissolving it slowly
as I set out into the day.

Author notes

The idea of a mask come from a camp I went to, but this is how I truly feel, having to wake up and put on a happy face for the world to see while a war rages behind it.

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • msjuicytech
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    I like this whole concept.. My mother always told me not to wear my emotions on my sleeves.. so in essence cover it up, when going out into society...its difficult to do, but many of us do it... ;-(

  • dnlhtch
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    I like it

    I must not be a real fan of the "free verse" technique because of the flow issues, but I think this is a good poem with real emotions expressed well. I also love the part about searching for the day's mask...that's great!

  • Virulent Malice
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    I dislike how you break up the lines early and create unnatural pauses throughout the entire piece. Let the coherent line stand together and situate the write in a way that we're pausing when there are actual pauses. Stopping to move down to the second half of the line to understand what's going down really ruins the enjoyment for the reader.


    • Akarian silver member
      October 12
      Edit | Reply
      It's a form of poetry writing used in free verse. It is used to give pause on important words. Thx for the comment anyway.

  • towhit
    October 11

    Edit | Reply
    Although I feel like the use of a mask as a poetic device is a bit overdone, I really enjoy your lead-in. Searching through the masks was an interesting dimension. I would recommend working on flow and clarity a bit. Love the emotion and that first stanza!


  • Rayne Dance
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    you are absolutely an amazing poet!! i just suggest you make it flow better


    • Akarian silver member
      October 11
      Edit | Reply
      Heh, thx. I can kinda see what you mean with the flow.

1 - 7 of 7