the old sailor stands
on bare headland
gazing out to sea
watches gulls buffeted
by cresting waves
soaked by sea spray
as they ride eternal tides
remembers the taste
of salt on his lips
Author notes
Prompt ... The work of Richard Brautigan.
In a list
A contest entry
- Being Brautigan's Brain Again by Odds and Ends.
1100 points, ended November 9, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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ms sue..as if you describe my life in pain..so sad am I.
it is substantial and the message conveyed is clear.
a very nice one!!!!
do you have any other composition which the subject is love? if you have please share it with me brandon.garcia3482@yahoo.com
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Thank you for reading and leaving a comment ... I appreciate it very much.
Sue
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Wonderfully sad write! I love those last two haunting lines: they put the whole poem into focus so beautifully.
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Thanks so much for reading and leaving a comment, I always welcome you gracing my poems ... I'm glad you like it.
Sue
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I'm with Thomas. Sad, but very good.
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Thank you for reading ... Sue
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eternal ... but not for him
Damn, this sad.
Good but sad.
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Many thanks Tom ... I appreciate you reading.
Sue
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this is so poignant & wonderfully written..i could taste the salt, too.
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Many thanks Tara both for the comment and help, I appreciate them.
Sue
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This really took me by surprise. One of your very best writes my friend!
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Many thanks John, you know me, I always like to surprise if I can
Suzie Q
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You get into the minds of such people better than anyone I know, now I have to go and read Brautigan ...
Great stuff
Jeff
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Many thanks Jeff, your words are always welcome.
Sue
x
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Wonderful bit of free verse and excellent imagery, yeah I will go to bed a little smarter tonight.
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Thank you for your comment and I'm glad I was able to end your day on a happy note.
Sue
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Sailors never really leave the sea, do they? A lovely quick portrait; very evocative in just a few words.
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Many thanks Russell, I think the salt gets into the veins, so the sea never really leaves the sailor.
Sue
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I picture him with a white beard and a pipe for some reason
and eyes far seeing and still very blue.
Evocative good luck in the contest.
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Many thanks Pat, I picture the beard, but not the pipe.
Sue
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Beautifully done - the concluding lines are superb.
Best of luck,
Bill
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Thanks Bill, I'm so glad you liked my poem.
Sue
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I liked your take on the perils of sailing ... joy
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Many thanks for reading Joy and leaving a comment.
Sue
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Wild imagery again from you Sue, a lovely poem.
Good luck in this contest.
Love Lu x
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Many thanks Lu, I appreciate you reading.
Love
Sue
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