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A Salted Kiss

 

 

 

 

 

 

the old sailor stands
on bare headland
gazing out to sea
watches gulls buffeted
by cresting waves
soaked by sea spray
as they ride eternal tides


remembers the taste
of salt on his lips
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt ... The work of Richard Brautigan.

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26
  • vivuyo
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    ms sue..as if you describe my life in pain..so sad am I.
    it is substantial and the message conveyed is clear.
    a very nice one!!!!

    do you have any other composition which the subject is love? if you have please share it with me brandon.garcia3482@yahoo.com



    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment ... I appreciate it very much.

      Sue

  • Purrsanthema
    October 9

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully sad write! I love those last two haunting lines: they put the whole poem into focus so beautifully.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      October 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for reading and leaving a comment, I always welcome you gracing my poems ... I'm glad you like it.

      Sue

  • Rowan gold member
    October 9
    Edit | Reply
    I'm with Thomas. Sad, but very good.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    eternal ... but not for him

    Damn, this sad.
    Good but sad.


  • tara wilson gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    this is so poignant & wonderfully written..i could taste the salt, too.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      October 8
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Tara both for the comment and help, I appreciate them.

      Sue
      x


  • arafura gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    This really took me by surprise. One of your very best writes my friend!

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      October 7
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks John, you know me, I always like to surprise if I can

      Suzie Q
      x


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    You get into the minds of such people better than anyone I know, now I have to go and read Brautigan ...

    Great stuff

    Jeff


  • awannabepoet
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful bit of free verse and excellent imagery, yeah I will go to bed a little smarter tonight.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      October 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment and I'm glad I was able to end your day on a happy note.

      Sue
      x


  • breedluv gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Sailors never really leave the sea, do they? A lovely quick portrait; very evocative in just a few words.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      October 7
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Russell, I think the salt gets into the veins, so the sea never really leaves the sailor.

      Sue
      x


  • Pattiboo silver member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    I picture him with a white beard and a pipe for some reason
    and eyes far seeing and still very blue.

    Evocative good luck in the contest.

  • Bad Bill
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done - the concluding lines are superb.

    Best of luck,
    Bill


  • waydownuponjoy
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    I liked your take on the perils of sailing ... joy


  • Lulu Gee silver member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wild imagery again from you Sue, a lovely poem.
    Good luck in this contest.
    Love Lu x

1 - 26 of 26