Your heart beat echoes in my mind like a long lost lullaby,
Creasing my stature,
Making me crack.
I fall as I visualize your shadow next to mine.
These eyes have witnessed the dead walking among us,
But if you look you cannot see,
Just as when you look in the mirror you can’t tell who you are.
Who says what you see is the truth?
What is mine is not yours,
So how can your eyes strike the same color lightening as mine?
The cold and the rain feel as refreshing as the warmth of your presence,
And I can picture us crying,
But our tears don’t mean the same,
Beauty is not something that is seen.
It is what is within us all,
Intangible.
Author notes
This is for a contest. the thingy is Beauty is...
I know you probably dont understand what i'm saying, but that's the way i write. what i mean here is that beauty is what it's the eyes of people [the eyes are said to be the window to the soul or whatever you know...] and idk i think that beauty is what you see and also it is the soul of a person. I'd appreciate it if you'd help me edit this 
Thanks for reading.
Does it give you an image?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This poem is beautiful (no pun intended
)
you do a good job at conveying imagery
from just reading it without the note, you get the sense of the difference between people, its not always clear, but then again, how many poems are? vagueness is a sign of skill in my eyes
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Edit????
Why Edit this is pretty dang good in its own right. I am amazed at some of the younger poets on here how well they write and how experienced they all seem when I was your age I never thought in this way, well not often I have to say.
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thank you
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Oh I remember the quote, is it for scholastic?
Last year our quote was "wow" -_____-
uh huh.
xD
Ok well, I think this is very tabitha-ish. I like that you incorporated bits and pieces of your life.
I don't like the last line of the first stanza. I think I've seen it before in many other pieces (not necessarily yours) Get ready for it...I think it's cliche..=/
but I think thats my opinion and may not be significant.
I think if you didnt write the author notes I wouldn't have figured out what you thought beauty was.
But if you were going for the whole mystery/you find out what it is on your own, then you succeded.
Its not clear on what your trying to make me feel. Thats another part, I think your trying to MAKE me feel certain things. But I think if you edit this and make it seem a little more clear(by expanding it) then it won't be as forced.
Does that even make sense??
Or maybe I'm just crazyyyy
I like it though, but you just consider what I'm saying, if any of it makes sense to you.
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aww i thought the last part was cool
i havent heard it anywhere..idk i can revise it. i just wrote it in like five seconds anyway. can you help me "expand" it. everyone says that but doesnt say how >.<
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OMG. I KNEW you rushed this. I could tell. but I didnt want to say it just in case you didn't, then that would be offensive.
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lol but i dont feel like doing this. i hate prompts like that. what is beauty you know what screw you! i tried to write more but it's bad. plus i cant write happy things
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hahaha but you could win a scholarship! so try
then write sad things. -
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actually i was thinking about entering Love because it kind of fits and it's much better. you know cuz like love beauty same thing well sort of and innocence in the mind is beauty to me, the way we're born and creatures are born and everything and how together we all thrive and that's beautiful :] and omg i read clocks today i was the last one I WAS SO SCARED like my heart was bursting and i was so hot i thought i was going to throw up and the other lesbian girl
HOLY
SHIT
she wrote this piece called a woman's touch and it was like..so amazing..like i could feel everything she said you know? like dayum she writes as good as you. -
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thats beautiful? wow. thats new, you barely think anything is beautiful.
lmao uh no she probably writes better than me, does she know your gay? well she probably does since your last line was 'her' -
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lol i think things are beautiful i just dont say so. your beautiful and i always say that though.
uhh idk, maybe. she probably wasnt paying attention to my sucky writing. she rides my bus sometimes o.o idk why..cuz a lot of the time she doesnt but she's not with friends. idk. i wish she would talk to me -_- -
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AWWWWWWWWWWWW _> dont wait for her
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