Off work, ready to party
we've been planning this for weeks.
Got my bottle of orange juice
packed with vitamin C
Helps the immune system
Tomorrow i'll need
a Snake, a Crybaby,
a paranoid Schizo;
My only friends for the trip
The Snake's bag filled with magic
35 bucks a spell
enchanting our minds 6
hours at a time
3 and a half grams
the perfect amount
displayed on a plate
delicious slumber
2 + 2 = 5
when the schizo begins to realize
maybe we're coming down.
Back to the bag of tricks
our new adventure begins
chips on the table
i indulge,
not chips but mushrooms
10 grams
fatal digestion
The world stops..
Transcending space and time
my death bed
the couch,
my final resting place
Let go of this world
exclaiming to all
"I just died",
let go of my bladder
Death is an experience
i know i've been there,
something is
everything is
nothing,
time isn't real
an awesome abyss
infinite nothingness
exists
You'll get over it
find your way out
i did
Resurrected by morning
as the mushies wear
off my "friends" just waited
for my soul to revive
It is a journey,
life after
death adventure of a
lifetime an illusion itself
I know where i'll be next weekend
haha, take a guess
Author notes
This is truth. The best way i can describe this experience at this time. If any of it does not make sense or can be made better let me know. I really want this journey to sound as good and epic as it was. It is truly undescribable, but i do it some justice
A contest entry
- I ate a mushroom by Emmyb.
650 points, ended October 8, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - After That I Was Never The Same by Budart.
1500 points, ended October 14, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Drugs, Diabetes & Sugar Levels! by English.Muffin.
1000 points, ended October 14, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest - round 1 by serenity silvermoon.
929 points, ended October 12, 461 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you feel? Does it read well?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Hmm this is a rather awesome take on my prompts, i really felt like i know more about the experience now and also its a nice change to have one with someone saying it wasnt so negative.
Love the imagery, and the irregular stanzas
Brill
Kudos!
-
i know i've been there,
something is
everything is
nothing,
time isn't real
an awesome abyss
infinite nothingness
exists
You'll get over it
find your way out
i did
really like this especially the lines
'something is
everything is
nothing,'
These three lines hit me hard.
-
been there done that nice read,
scary (did i say that?)
poem put together nice
-
Laying my cards on the table, I've never done any drugs... I have however, sat next to people so high and laughing so hard that they hyperventilated... and they were laughing at their feet...
You really went for the harsh and gritty aspect of the experience though... at least that's how it comes across. Overall I like it... Of course, if it were me, and I was writing a poem about being high on 'mushies' I would have been on the moon playing polo with Jimmi Hendrix... but I think I like your way better. Good job -
-
Haha well, thanks man i'm not condoning nor encouraging, but most of my trips have been pleasant. This however was the worst experience of my life i think lol. But i would totally go for yours, haha just sounds awesome
-
-
I took a lot of various hallucinogens when I was young. The experience made me more materialistic rather than more spiritual. I realized that my brain, my perceptions were changing not the world. Made me think that most if not all intense religious experiences are a function of altered brain chemistry rather than contact with some other supernatural world. You label your experience an after death adventure but it wasn't you were alive all the time.
technically I think you could do some editing. the first part could go. The point is the mushroom experience. The rest is superfluous. The meter is off somehow. It reads choppily.
Finally please be careful and take it slow. I have known people who did not come back and ended up dead or in a psych ward. AND DON"T TAKE OPIATES or other addictive drugs. When I got tired of tripping I just stopped. Once your hooked on opiates or coke it is a bitch. Good luck. -
-
I totally get what you're saying, how i was technically still alive in this world. But the mind was gone. See the way i think of it is, we do not know what death is. We have no idea what is going to happen only ideas. I think dreams and the thoughts of your subconcious are powerful tools. Not always correct that is for sure, however it gives us a new interpretation to the world. of experiences. But i do indeed see what you're saying
As for the editing yeah i appreciate the feedback. It still feels rough, i just have so much i want to say that is meaningless to the story and its hard to throw out some of it. But yes, i should trim down those unneeded parts. Thank you i'll let you know.
And for your own piece of mind, lol or not. I have not delved into anything harder, nor do i dare to. To hardcore for me bro.
Again thank you again. Much love
-
-
I myself have not been on such a trip but I've friends who have, real trippy types who would love this write. As a song this could be turned into for sure, just you gotta imagine yourself or someone else singing it loud. With the right sound and a little edit here and there it could become quite the song. As a poem I think it is great as it is but having said that, well you know what I'm going to say now. Yes any poem can be improved upon, made better than before. It's your poem, and when you can sit there and read your own poem aloud and go WOW! Did I really write that! Such a reaction from yourself will tell you you've just written a masterpiece. Of cause sometimes you don't see it, sometimes it takes others to tell you that you've written a brilliant poem. In my own situation that's been the case, and believe me, I've had those wow moments myself. Here I'm not saying your poem is brilliant or any less so, just that it is a great poem you've written that is open to whatever ideas you've got to revise it, or just leave as is for it is still a good enough poem. But a good poet never rest until he or she has that perfect poem, that one they can treasure till their end days. Anyway I'm going on a bit here but you get what I'm saying. Take care and I hope I made sense to you here.
-
This gave me a creeping inkling as to what this was all about as I read down, without knowing what contest it was in, and though I have no personal experience with this, yes, I think you do do it some justice. You've got talent, kid.
-
-
geez
clicked too soon.
-
Those have been horrible trips and you definately captured it in your write. Excellent imagery and truth. Blessings.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
