At that very moment,
when my mouth leaves
your skin, the night
becomes unbearably lonely.
One taste at a time,
tomorrow is
another day.
© Oisin
@ @
In a list
A contest entry
- succinct by Saffron.
600 points, ended October 27, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I have to agree with some other comments on this piece--I think the first stanza could easily be stand-alone. If it were mine, I would end it there. But--I still love it. You have such a knack for writing beautiful and sensual poems from so few words. I adore your work, and I have for a long time.
Thank you for entering this in the contest, Scott. I am always happy when you write new pieces, and I am really happy you wrote for this.
Saffron
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The first stanza is a knock-out, beautifully expressed.
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I think the first stanza could stand beautifully as a poem on its own. Lovely penning. Enjoyed
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beautiful. you do know how to write these short poems and still leave your readers with a sigh
~ Nicolette
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Sigh. You and Neruda would have much to discuss, methinks. Good luck in the contest, Scribe. Great to see a new posting from you, my Friend. 
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this is absolutely beautiful, the first four lines hold such a strong feeling of longing... and the ending is so sexy... omg....
it brings such a sense of bringing back time, togetherness, and a whole lot of both...
it's so nice to read something new from you.
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