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Eavesdropping

Of the smoky tendrils that escape
my fumbled fingers, dampened ears
heart tuned fine
to slender hearing

to the abandoned witness of the sea
lone spiraled keeper
echoing lost love
and whispers of distance
rustlings of the past- stirring
under the surface
of today

to the spiny cone,
a prickly guardian of secrets,
oh, what’s held tightly in her green womb
baring only to dry ripeness
cold to all else
drawing sanguinary pinpoints
in the curious who dig
for sweet meat

to a crushed velveteen petal-
whose healing downy touch
abides the callous user
faint fragrance of acceptance
wind tips, gentle ones tumble

all the while
frigid flakes spill
building a blanket
numb with winter’s sigh
burying regret and endless searches
sedating desperation,
examination
left to level cold
and blind white



Author notes

Ok, probably not what you were going for-- freeverse is not my forte, but I really liked the prompt.

Prompt:
Four things to commit to a far-edged poem. Show me, don't tell me. Free Verse.
A Shell, A Pinecone, A Petal and Snow.

A contest entry

Comments welcomed.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • fiona8 silver member
    November 13

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice indeed, You have some grand ines in this,
    faint fragrance of acceptance
    burying regret and endless searches


  • Nymphetemine
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    I see you got a green shiny trophy...Well done.. Wonderful write.. I liked the way you tied all the objects of the prompt.. Lovely write dear poet...

    to a crushed velveteen petal-
    whose healing downy touch
    abides the callous user
    faint fragrance of acceptance
    wind tips, gentle ones tumble

    Loved this verse....Wonderful write...


    • Nickelspring gold member
      October 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, this is one of those things that just kind of spilled out
      Thank you for a lovely, as always, comment- you know it means alot to me!

      Kris


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    "lone spiraled keeper" ...."a prickly guardian of secrets"..."healing downy touch"... Exactly what I was going for. free verse in this poem is your forte in deed. Beauty penned!


    • Nickelspring gold member
      October 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much!! Especially for the green shiny I didn't expect anything considering the fabulous poets entered here, just wanted the experience.

      Kris


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 5

    Edit | Reply

    Perhaps you feel free verse is not your forte, Poet, but I disagree, as I think Carol will, too. This is a worthy and thoughtful response to the prompt. Good luck in the contest.

1 - 8 of 8