Small noises escape the speaker
Soon a synthetic beat adds to it
The beat is like a heart, a metronome,
a bass drum, all at once
Soon high staccato pulses fill the air
They join hands with the electric drums
Then unrecognizable sounds enter the song
The sounds add wonder to the air
They weave in and out, through other sounds
in a beautiful mixture of noise
Appearing in the midst of the sounds, a human appears
adding a resplendent voice to the arrangement
Floods fill my soul as I listen
Waves of undulating sounds
Waters of the flood crash into the walls
and they leave a mark
The floods bring microscopic creatures
Animals dancing to the sounds and swimming
They swim through the waters
Noah himself can't stop these floods
The waves grow and fade, then grow again
The speakers bounce to the music
And the animals are still dancing
Electricity emanates from the speakers
Its heart beat fills the air
Author notes
This is for English.
Comments
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Yay! You should get an A+.
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this is a great write - and I loved the use of specialist knowledge at the very beginning - why didn't you take it all the way through to challenge the reader that little bit more? The imagery of the water and micro-organisms heightens the detail and brings life onto the scene, or at least a vessel through which the electric sounds can flow. The only thing that tripped me up during my read of this was the overuse of certain words - particularly 'sounds' and 'speakers'. If you do plan to revise it at any point, I would suggest that as a starting point - otherwise I found it to be a very organic read - I'm not sure how else to put it? Organic. Yes. Maybe the heart, and the pulse, the human, floods and walls. Or the whole thing could perhaps be read as a euphemism for sex - 'the speakers bounce to the music' while 'microscoic creatures [...] swim through the waters'. Maybe I am thinking about it a bit too much though
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